Vacation!
by yugi's angel
Summary: school's out and summer is in. Seto, Yami, and Ryou decide to go on a "fun", "realaxing roadtrip. Au! starts in houston tx. ch.3 is finally up!
1. it starts

disclaimer: I don't own yu-gi-oh. I wish though. I can wish right?  
  
a/n: I don't know. This was kind of a spur of the moment thing a long time ago during some class at school. If it is any good.I don't know. If it is full of craziness and humor.yes.it has a lot of it. He he he.I can't wait for the later chapters.I have some good ideas for those. Please review.I need to know if I should continue or to stop while I'm ahead of myself. To be honest I don't think much of my writing but I don't listen to what I think. I listen to what ya'll think. Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy this...oh and yes.there will be lemon ( ka gets to write lemon!!!) it's seto/bakura and yami/you'll have to read to find out. Enjoy ^-^  
  
Vacation!!!  
  
Bakura's POV  
  
"Wow!, yeah! School's out! Yeah!"  
  
" Hey, shut up Bakura!"  
  
" You Seto, school's out!"  
  
Finally, our freshmen year of high school is over with. Seto and Yami don't seem to be to happy though.  
  
" Seto, Yami ya'll alright?"  
  
"Sure" Yami said  
  
" Whatever" Seto replied  
  
" Damnit! What the hell is the matter with ya'll? It's summer"  
  
Yami got up from the bench he and Seto were sitting on and walk toward me.  
  
" I think I speak for the two of us when I say.summer sucks!" My mouth dropped open at Yami's words.  
  
" Seto, do you agree with him?' I asked  
  
" Yep" he said as he folded his arms across his chest.  
  
" Now may I ask why?"  
  
" Easy" Seto said " We have nothing to do and you know how you get when you have nothing to do" Yami nodded. I sat down right next to Seto and thought intensely. Blink went the little light bulb in my head.  
  
" Hey Seto" I said with a mischievous tone of voice.  
  
" What?" he snapped  
  
" You have your driver's license already, right?"  
  
" Yeah, ...what are you starting to think of?.."  
  
" You have a car, right"  
  
" Yeah, ... I don't like were this is going"  
  
I think he noticed the look of insanity on my face.  
  
" You're starting to scare me"  
  
" I agree with you" Yami spat out as he backed away from me. Then I couldn't hold it in any more. " ROAD TRIP!!!" I screamed.  
  
As the silence settled in after my outburst Seto stood up with a blank look and walked toward Yami. His back was to my face.  
  
" Yeah, sure, a road trip. I'm cool, sure I'm cool about this. You Yami?" he said with a monotone.  
  
" Ah.."  
  
" Sure you are Yami"  
  
" Okay"  
  
" Now were to go"  
  
I decided to walk over to Yami and converse with him about were to go. " So were do you think we should go? I asked him. We stood there in silence while Seto stood there in his state of shock.  
  
" Do you think we should do something about him?" he asked me.  
  
" Yeah, leave it to me" 'ha ha ha!' I walked around Seto so that we were eye to eye...somewhat.  
  
" Seto, buddy, pal, please forgive me" In a split second I smacked him hard across his face.  
  
" Hey, what was that for?!"  
  
" Ah.anyways, were are we going to go?" I asked Yami and Seto.  
  
" Somewhere we have never been to" Yami suggested  
  
" How about something fun" Seto added  
  
'Hmmmm..' I thought " Damnit, lets just go to ah...Disney World or something" Yami said frustrated"  
  
" Good idea" me and Seto said at the same time.  
  
" Then it is settled. We're going to go on a road trip to Disney World" I said.  
  
" But what do I do with Mokuba?"  
  
" Good point" I said  
  
" He can stay with grandpa and Yugi"  
  
" I think that he'll like that"  
  
" So, when do we leave?" I asked excitedly  
  
" In two days. I will purchase the tickets tonight and since I don't know how long it will take to get there I will make the hotel reservations when we get there.  
  
" Okay"  
  
" Well I guess I will be seeing ya'll in two days"  
  
" Yeah' Yami said  
  
" Remember, 2 days at Seto's house"  
  
" Bakura" Seto yelled out  
  
" Yes"  
  
" Remind me to kill you"  
  
" Sure"  
  
" Well, I have to go and tell Mokuba about our plans, later"  
  
" I have to go get the spare room ready for Mokuba's stay, see ya Bakura."  
  
' Sigh' " I'm a geniuses" ' now what to pack?'  
  
2 days later...  
  
Beep, beep, beep, beep.." What the hell?" I turned over on my side and caught a glimpse of that annoying piece of shit alarm clock. " 7:00 am" ' sigh' " Why the hell did I set up the alarm clock? Whatever, if it was important I would have remembered it" I rolled back to my original position and pulled the warm covers over me. ' Alarm clock during summer.. I must have been crazy'  
  
I closed my eyes. ' wasn't there something I had to do today? For some reason I feel like I'm forgetting some..'"Oh shit!' I jumped out of bed. ' why am I out of bed? Think Bakura think...why did I jump out of bed and yell shit? '  
  
" Oh shit!, Disney, road trip, Seto's house...shit!"  
  
I ran downstairs and grabbed one of those Chex Morning Mix things and poured a cup of milk. ' I'm glad to know that even when I am in a hurry I can still eat a healthy breakfast. Now where's my suitcase or duffle bag..whatever I'm using to pack? ' I power walked around the house until I found my duffle bag. " oh shit!" I picked up the bag and dropped it. ' Nothing, two days to pack and I have nothing...damnit!' I looked around the empty bag and saw all sorts of dirty cloth. I bent down and grabbed all the dirty cloth.  
  
" Screw it" I extended my arm to where I could reach the bag. When I found one of the handles I clenched it in my hand and brought the bag over to me quickly. I began to throw all the disgustingly dirty cloth into the bag.  
  
"Hmm..no ventilation.this could get smelly, not like it already isn't, I need.....Odor Eaters!!!" I ran to the laundry room, while dragging my duffle bag with my feet, and yanked the Odor Eaters off the shelf. I sprayed that bag furiously. It was almost like spraying a can of Raid on an already dead cockroach.  
  
" Done...pure genius. Now to get to Seto's house." I dropped the Odor Eater can, grabbed my duffle bag and ran out the door. As I ran down my driveway. I heard a voice behind me. I looked back to see who was yelling.  
  
" Bakura damnit" My father " can't you close the door or how about being quieter you know there are more people than just you here. Damnit!"  
  
I started to run. My dad just stood there in the open doorframe shaking his fist high in the air. I ran all the way to Seto's house. While running to his house guess who I ran into..my Yami. He decided that he didn't want to go to fantasy land for summer so he made plans for his own summer.  
  
" Hey" my Yami yelled as I kept on running.  
  
" Hey" I yelled  
  
" Take a break"  
  
" Can't" " Well, you leave me no choice." He his foot out in my path and I stupidly tripped on it.  
  
" I told you to take a break"  
  
" Fine, what do you want and...why are you up so early?"  
  
" Take a gander, the apron"  
  
It was pink, had lace, a ..a ruffle.oh God. With fear in my voice I asked him "So exactly what are you doing with your summer? "  
  
" I'm glad you asked my lighter half" I cocked an eyebrow " I am the restaurants newest cleaning lady"  
  
" Wha.."  
  
" Yes, I have taken the solemn oath of the cleaning ladies. When ever there is a dirty toilet I'll be there, whenever there is a piece of paper on the floor I will be there, whenever..huh, get back here!"  
  
" Sorry, got to go, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" ' Great, I'm the Alice in Wonderland bunny.'  
  
Finally, after that strange encounter with my yami, I arrived at Seto's house, or should I say mansion. Slowly ( and not to mention out if breath) I walked to the gate and pushed the little button thing. The gate opened and walked to the massive door. Yet another funful button. I pushed it. ' where is he?'  
  
5 min. later  
  
I heard the sound of the locks being unlocked. The door opened. ' !!!!!!!!! ' Seto.  
  
" You're here early"  
  
" Seto, you look..."  
  
" Hey, I just got out of bed! "  
  
He was wearing Copenhagen blue boxers, Hanes brand if I saw correctly. He looked like something that came out of a horror film.  
  
" Wait" I yelled " What did you say?!"  
  
" You're here early"  
  
My mouth dropped and I fell back. He caught me, good because I really didn't want to fall back, I could hurt a the daisies.  
  
" You want some coffee, Starbucks brand. " he asked me  
  
" Starbucks brand!, who can say no!"  
  
I walked in and wow. That was the only word to describe it. ' So, when do I get my coffee?'  
  
" So when are we gonna get started on our great adventure? "  
  
" When Yami gets here"  
  
" Oh"  
  
ding, dong  
  
" What?!" Seto did a 360 ( disco style) and headed for the door.  
  
' wonder who it is, where's my coffee?'  
  
" Hey Seto"  
  
" What, can't you see I have to open the door"  
  
" In your boxers"  
  
" Hey!"  
  
" Whatever, can I sit on your sofa"  
  
" Sure, make yourself at home."  
  
" Thanks"  
  
Well I took the 'Make yourself at home' part to my head. I took my grossly dirty shirt off and laid down on the sofa. It was burning up in here. You would think a rich guy would know how to keep a room properly air- conditioned.  
  
Ding dong  
  
" Get that damn door Seto!"  
  
" Hey, who's the home owner here?"  
  
He finally opened the door. When I saw who was at the I sat strait up. Yami. His widened " I hope I'm not interrupting something.." he said  
  
" Ah..." Seto said stupidly  
  
" Am I missing something here."  
  
" No Yami, I just got out of bed"  
  
" What?"  
  
" Isn't it obvious?"  
  
" Your covered in sweat!"  
  
" Ah...air conditioner's broken"  
  
Yami gave Seto a strange look and Seto decided to look behind him.  
  
" What the hell!" he screamed to me  
  
" You said to make yourself at home"  
  
" You're right, sorry"  
  
" Not to mention it's hotter than hell in here"  
  
" Yeah, sorry. Well, Yami you're here early, both of ya'll. Do you want some coffee Yami?"  
  
" Starbucks brand?" he asked Seto curiously  
  
" Nothing but"  
  
" who can refuse! It's Starbucks brand"  
  
" Yami, if you want you can go sit on the sofa with Bakura while I get ya'lls coffee."  
  
" Okay" Yami replied to Seto.  
  
We sat there, then we sat there some more.  
  
" Ah! Ouch, ouch, grind you stupid thing grind!"  
  
" Is everything okay Seto?" " Peachy, very peachy"  
  
" What ever you say Seto"  
  
Soon after that we heard cups rattling and Seto cursing in the kitchen or a least what I thought was the kitchen.  
  
"Coffee's done" Seto yelled.  
  
Seto walked in with a tray in his hand and what used to be a white chef's hat.  
  
" I hope this wasn't to much trouble" Yami told Seto.  
  
" Not at all my friend. I will do anything for Starbucks coffee!"  
  
He put the tray down on the table and gave us each a cup of delicious, hot Starbucks coffee.  
  
" Now, if ya'll don't mind I have to put on some pants and a shirt"  
  
" You don't have to" I said " I don't mind" ' Hmmm... what would happen if I add a wink ' I gave him a wink  
  
" Grrrr..! If I had my fwooshy coat I would.."  
  
" What, fwoosh him to death"  
  
" I'll be back and Bakura"  
  
" Yes"  
  
" Please remind me to kill you!"  
  
" Anything for you honey"  
  
He looked at me scared and ran off.  
  
" So Yami, how's your coffee"  
  
" What do you think?"  
  
" Disgusting, makes you want to hurl. You know Yami, the bathroom is over there"  
  
" How dare you insult Starbucks"  
  
" Hey, ya'll ready?" Seto called from up stairs.  
  
" Ready when you are Seto"  
  
" Good because I'm ready"  
  
I squealed. " We're going to Disney world!"  
  
" Calm down Bakura" Yami told me.  
  
" Listen to Yami, Bakura"  
  
He walked down the stairs and walked toward me.  
  
" Good boy" he said while patting my head " Good, good boy."  
  
" Ya'll had breakfast right?" Yami asked  
  
" Yeah" I answered  
  
" Well gee, I wonder. Hmm.I ate breakfast in my boxers."  
  
" You did, great! We can go now!"  
  
" Sit boy" Seto commanded me. " Let me eat some Honey Nut Cheerios and then we'll go"  
  
1 Hour Later...  
  
" Are you done yet, are you done yet, are you done yet?" me and Yami Yug asked.  
  
" No, can't you see. I have 3 more Cheerios to eat." He picked up one single Cheerio. " I think I'll call this one Ricky" CRUNCH " Two more Cheerios left."  
  
10 minutes later...  
  
" 1 more Cheerio left"  
  
" C'mon Seto, eat the damn Cheerio!"  
  
" Patience Bakura"  
  
" Ug"  
  
3 minutes later.. " There, you're done! Can we go now!" I complained  
  
" I agree with Bakura! We're not getting any younger!"  
  
" Just one more minute! Please! We have to stay for the funeral!"  
  
" What!" me and Yami Yug yelled at the same time.  
  
" Yes, the funeral. All those poor Cheerios. Just one minute" He pleaded this time.  
  
" You said ' Just one more minute' an hour and fourteen minutes ago!"  
  
" This time I mean it. Please, trust me" Me and Yami Yug looked at each other then at Seto's sad puppy face.  
  
" Okay" Yami said  
  
" Go ahead and have your funeral" I added  
  
" Thank you. It'll just be a minute"  
  
30 minutes later  
  
" Okay, lets go!" Seto yelled. He scribbled a note to Mokuba and grabbed his bag. We all walked to the door.  
  
" So, open the door Seto!" I demanded. He opened the door and finally we were out.  
  
" The light, it burns" Yami yelled. Seto fell to his knees  
  
" Why, why can't there be clouds today? Why! Today of all days!" he yelled.  
  
I stood there watching in bewilderment. ' What's that sound?' It was like a live cockroach scurrying about on tile floor when not a sound was made. I looked down at the concrete below me. ' Oh God no ' What did I see you ask, well, I'll tell you. Right there, beside me I saw a squirrel perched on its hind legs with a nut in its scrawny arms staring at whatever the hell Yami and Seto were doing. He turned his head toward me and stared.  
  
" What are you looking at?" I swear I saw him point at me but oh well. " Are ya'll done?" They both stood up.  
  
" Hey what's that squirrel looking at?" Yami asked.  
  
" Hey, did that squirrel just point to Bakura?" Seto asked " Whatever"  
  
" Lets go and load up the car"  
  
Seto walked to his car and opened the trunk.  
  
" Okay, now lets load the car"  
  
Seto threw his duffle bag into the trunk and then Yami. I walked toward the open trunk. I heaved the thing in and turned around.  
  
" Damn, what smells?"  
  
" Really, smells like a skunk crawled in my trunk and died. You smell that Bakura?"  
  
" You can't prove anything!" I yelled and ran down the driveway.  
  
" Smell has got him" Seto said  
  
" Bakura, come back! We want to go!"  
  
I walked back to the car casually. Seto got in the drivers seat and Yami took the back seat. ' Guess I take front passenger seat' I walked and got in the car without a word.  
  
Seto backed out of the driveway and off we were. As we drove to the interstate we drove past my yami's place of employment. My yami was outside sweeping the driveway.  
  
" Wasn't that your yami" Seto asked  
  
" No, no it wasn't. My yami doesn't wear pink. Ah, it's not his color."  
  
" There it is..the entrance ramp to..what?"  
  
" The interstate!" we all yelled  
  
" Yep" Seto said  
  
" Disney world, here we come!" Yami yelled  
  
Our adventure has finally began. Nothing can go wrong! Absolutely nothing! 


	2. off we go

A/N: yes, it has been a long time but I finally did it. Ch.2 is finally up. *starts to do a little happy dance* I hope that this chapter is good. Sigh. Oh well…at least it's finally up! I hope all ya'll enjoy. Oh yeah, please review. All flames are welcome ^-^. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:  do I have to say it…..fine!. as all of ya'll should know I don't own yu-gi-oh. Want to, but no. I don't own yu-gi-oh.  

Note: -------------- means scene change

** Ch.2 **

Bakura's POV 

We got on the interstate and off we were to Disney World. Ten minutes into the ride Seto asked a rather odd question.

"Hey guys……..where's Orlando?"

"Ah….why do you ask Seto?" 

"Well, it could be because I don't know where Orlando is!" Silence. We started to look at the map and the road signs. 

"Hey, look at that sign. It says that if we go right we'll get to Florida and if we go left we'll get to San Antonio." 

"Bakura, what does that map say?" Seto asked.

"Ah….according to this go left, to San Antonio." 

"Isn't Orlando in Florida?" Yami questioned.

"NO!, you will obey my authority!"

"Shut up and tell me!" Seto yelled.

"San Antonio!" 

"Orlando is in Florida!!!" Yami said madly.

"The sign is wrong, I am right! I'm never wrong!"

"Well, actually, Bakura..." Yami started to say.

"Shut up Yami." 

"Whatever" he retorted.

"San Antonio here we come!" 

"Okay, but if we get lost it's gonna be your head decorating my wall!" Seto yelled.

"Fine, but you know I'm right." 

"Right Bakura, whatever you want to think." Yami told me.

Two hours into the ride and I'm bored as hell. 

"Guy's I'm bored." 

"Then turn on the radio  or something." 

"Hmm….I will, yes…I think will." I grabbed the radio knob and started to turn. "Seto, does your radio work?"

"Yes Bakura." I grabbed the knob again and started to pull on it.

"Grrr……turn on!" I yelled. In a second I fell backwards, hitting my back on the seat. 'What the' I looked at my hand and saw a little thing that looked like a knob. I glanced at where the radio knob was supposed  to be. 'Oh Shit!'  

"Yami, is this the radio knob?"

"I don't know, ask Seto." 

"Seto is this……

"Oh my God!!! My radio knob is missing! Bakura!!!" Seto yelled.

"Oh look…" Seto gave me a weird look. I looked in the side mirror and saw Yami giving me a strange look. 

"What!" I yelled

"Nothing, nothing" Seto said calmly.

           1 hour later…….

"We'll be there in about an hour" 

"Great, what are we supposed to do for another hour?" Yami asked 

Silence…….

"I know." I said.

"What don't you know." 

"Anyways, lets play the license plate game!" 

"Sure." Yami said.

"Whatever." Seto said. We sat there. 'why does this road have to be so deserted?'

"Ooh, I see some cars!" 

"Great." Yami said.

"Wonderful." Seto said

"Ooh, look I see Texas, and there's another Texas, and another, and…look" 

"Okay lets do something else." Yami said.

"I agree." Seto said. We sat there in silence.

"How about we sit here in silence?" Yami suggested. " It seems to be the only thing we can do." 

"Fine" 

             1 hour later….. 

'What's that?' " Civilization!"  I yelled.

"Yeah Bakura." 

"Drive faster Seto!!!!!" 

"Bakura!" 

"What?! Can't you see I'm going insane here!" 

"Sit down and shut up!" Seto yelled at me. 

"Fine" I sat there. 'Why does Yami get to enjoy himself?' He was lying, spread out on the backseat, sleeping…yeah…sleeping. 

We finally entered the city of San Antonio. Finally!

"We're here!" Seto yelled. "Bakura, wake up Yami." 

"Hm, hm, hm, hmpf!" 

"What's the matter with you Bakura?" 

"Hm, hm, hm, hmpf!" 

"Damn it Bakura!…..oh…you can talk now." 

"Thank you." I commented.

"Fine, you're welcome, whatever, now wake up Yami if he hasn't already woken up."

"Fine, fine. Yami…..Yami…..Yami." 'fine'  "Seto, I'm going to go to the back seat okay?" 

"Whatever! Let me drive….I'll be impressed if I survive this trip." 

I jumped over the seat and fell into the foot space of the backseat.

"I'm okay, yeah…all fine." 

"Are you okay Bakura?" he asked.

"Peachy." 

"Good, now wake up Yami."  I sighed. ' How the hell is he still asleep?' I nudged Yami. Still he slept. I sat up in the little grove I was trapped in. "Why me?" I murmured. I turned so my back faced little sleeping Yami.

"So now where do we go Seto?"

"I don't know Bakura." 

"Okay." I sat there and began to go into a daze. 'What's that?' Something was crawling up my back. 'Oh no….it can't be…' I felt more crawling.

"BOO!" 

"Ahhhh!" I screamed like a girl. "What  the hell!?" I turned around…..

"Yami!" I yelled

"What, did I scare you?" 

"I thought that you were the cockroach I killed two weeks ago!" 

"Wow, I feel loved." he said sarcastically.

"Nah, I love Seto." I said sarcastically, shooting Seto a wink. 

"So where are we going Seto?" Yami asked

"Where do ya'll want to go?" 

"What's in San Antonio?" Yami asked.

"Alamo, Shamu, Starbucks..."

"Starbucks!" Me and Yami Yugi yelled.

"Ah, no. I guess I'll make the decision….Alamo." 

"The historic Alamo." Yami commented.

"Yes, but first we eat." 

Silence…….

"Where?" I asked.

Silence……..

" We'll there's a Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonalds..." Yami stated.

Some more silence….

"Taco Bell" we all said in unison. Seto drove up to the Taco Bell and parked the car. We got out and made our way toward the first set of glass doors. 

"Bakura!" Seto called out to me.

"Yeah?"

"Get the Damn door!" 

"Fine!" I snapped at him. I got to the door and opened it. 

"Thanks Bakura."

"No problem Yami." Seto walked up to me and patted me on the head.

"Good Bakura."  Seto said to me.

"Grrrr…." We all walked to the menu and stared at it. 

"What do you guys want?" Seto asked.

"What are you getting?" Yami asked.

"Chilupa." 

"Okay, I'll just get whatever that is." 

"Same here" I added. I walked up to Seto. "Oh, Seto, baby boy." I said while pinching his cheek. "You want to pay for the mean ol' Chilupas. Okay?" I looked at a table that was in clear view "Oh Seto, baby boy, don't get lost on your way back to the table." I patted him on his cheek and took ten steps toward the table and sat down.

"Hey Yami…do you think he'll get lost?" He looked up toward Seto and faced me again.

"Yes, I think he will." 

"I do too."  I sat there staring blankly at Seto as he paid for the food. 'It's going to be a log way to Disney.'

SMACK!

"Huh….what the?" I snapped out of my daze and saw that Yami had fallen out of his chair laughing like a hyena that was high off something. I always knew that he was part hyena but why was he laughing so hard? And why did my head hurt so freakin' bad? Seto. I turned my head slowly toward where Seto now stood. He had a map rolled up in his hands. 

SMACK!

"Seto, what was that for?" I blurted out as I rubbed my head. 

"You were off in la la land." 

Yami got up off the floor and sat there quietly trying to look like a little angel. 

"Eat fast ya'll. We still need to get to the Alamo and then we have to get off on the road again. Speaking of which…hey genius." I started to look around for the genius Seto was talking about.

"Oh…me." 

"Yeah. Where do we go next from here?" He handed me the map and then added. "Mr. Genius map master." 

SMACK!

"Bakura! What was that for?" 

"Payback." I love payback. Seto and Yami settled down and ate as I stared at the map. 'Okay…we are here and we need to go west. Hmmmmm…ah, I see….we have to go to El Paso from here. I'll figure out where to go next from El Paso later.' 

"Hey Seto, according to the map after here we need to go to …...oh my….Seto. I've never seen this side or you." His face was covered with food. Who would think that an honor student and the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation would be such a….such a…pig. 

"You're such a pig." 

"I agree with Bakura, Seto." Yami said

"Shut up you two. Bakura where do we go after here!" 

"El Paso." 

"Fine, now finish eating so we can go to the Alamo."  Seto grabbed a napkin and wiped his face furiously, trying to clean the mess he made on his face. 'Sigh'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Damn it! I hate parking lots!" Seto muttered to himself.

"Seto I thought that you would like to know, but if you look to your right there's a free parking space." 

"Thank you Yami. Thank you. Bakura, how come you can't be helpful like Yami?" 

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

Seto growled angrily at me as he parked the car.

"Okay." Seto looked at his watch "If we're going to make it to El Paso before night time we can only spend two hours here at the most." 

"Okay." Me and Yami Yugi said in unison. We all walked side by side as we approached a busy street. Seto grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye.

"Bakura, hold my hand tight now. We wouldn't want you to get ran over by a car and die, right Yami?" Yami stood there trying to look cool. 

"Whatever you say Seto." 

"Yami, you think you're so cool cause you don't have to hold my hand….right." Yami nodded his head. "Well we wouldn't want you to get hurt now would we?" Yami saw the evil glare in Seto's eyes

"You'll never get me Seto! Muahahahahahahahah!!!!!" Yami looked to his right, making sure that there weren't too many oncoming cars. Seto made an attempt to grab Yami's arm but failed. Yami had run into the street like a deranged bunny rabbit. Never in my life, or wildest of dreams, come to think about it, would I have pictured Yami, the sanest one of our little group, running through a busy street, dodging cars, just to get away from Seto's humiliating death grip. Speaking of which…

"Seto." 

"What?" 

"Can you loosen your death grip a little?" 

"No!" 

"Okay." Yeah, but never in my life. We stood there, eyes transfixed on the scurrying Yami. 

"I wonder about him." 

"Yeah." I said "I wonder. Wonder how he hasn't been put in a mental home." 

"Hey! He made it!!!" 

"Really?" 

"Look you dumb nut."

"Hey!" 

"Hey!" Seto pointed down toward the sidewalk

"Hey!!!" 

 There he sat. Laughing and pointing at me. That long crocked finger with the single protruding claw. That brown bushy tail bobbing up and down with every laugh that came from the stupid creature. I felt my face go red from anger and frustration. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Evil Squirrel! Damn you! Hey, stop laughing at me." 

"Bakura, shut the hell up! You're embarrassing me."  I looked at his hand that tightly held mine.

"Really?" I said.

"Shut up. Look." I looked. The traffic light had turned red, leaving the street clear of speeding cars. If you ask me it is the perfect time to humiliate Seto. I bent down on my knees to give me the height of a small child.

"C'mon Bakura. Before the light turn green and we get ran over and sold to the Road Kill Café." 

"But mommy Seto, I don't want to go to the Alamo. I want to go to the zoo." 

"Bakura, what the fu-" 

"Whaha! I don't like it when you curse, mommy!" I tugged on his arm. All he did was growl at me.

"Come on." He began to drag me into the temporarily deserted street.

"But I wanna go to the zoo."  

A casually dressed woman stopped at the "tender" display of "motherly" love. She walked up to Seto and slapped him across the face.

"You monster! How dare you treat your daughter like that?!" She walked away.

"What was that about honey?" 

"I don't know mommy."

We began to walk slowly to where Yami was waiting for us. I looked over toward the line of stopped cars. Within seconds they began to charge at us. I tugged on Seto's arm.

"Se….Se…..Seto!!!!" 

" What?!"

I pointed at the moving cars

"AHHHHH!!!!" We both screamed. I got up from my kiddy position and we both ran. Seto muttered something as we ran. It sounded a lot like "I'm not going to the Road Kill Café, I'm not going to the Road Kill Café!" We both tripped on something. But what?

"Bakura, are we alive?" 

"I don't know." I felt around. The ground was solid. Cement it felt like. But what's this? It felt like leather and had a boot shape to it. I opened my eyes and looked up.

"BOO!" 

"Yami. Are you dead to?"

"What are you talking about?" 

"What are you talking about?"

"I asked you first." 

"So?" 

"So?" 

"So?" 

"So?"

"So…should we do something about Seto?"  I got up and walked toward Seto. I lightly kicked his side.

"Get up Seto. Remember we need to get to El Paso before night." Seto's eyes flew open and he jumped up. 

"Come on we don't have too much time." 

For no reason I started to look around. 'Hmm…..tree, crosswalk, elevated walkway across the street, evil squirrel laughing and pointing at me…..huh? Cross walk and elevated walk way!!!!!' 

"Hey Yami!" I pointed in the direction of both the cross walk and the elevated walkway.

"Holy shit no!!!" 

"What the hell are you yelling about?" Seto asked. Yami pointed. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" gasp "Ahhhhhhhhhhh" Seto fainted, falling backwards into my arms. 

"Yami, he's out cold." 

"What are we going to do?" 

"I know exactly what to do" I leaned down. My face coming inches away from his. I whispered in a low voice to him "Kiss me sugar." Before I knew it he jumped out of my arms and yelled:

"To the Alamo!" 

We walked down the sidewalk side by side. As we walked we admired the beautiful stone wall lined with arches. 

"This place is rather depressing if you ask me. All the lives that were lost….

"Bakura, I didn't know you had feelings!" 

"Watch it!" I snapped.

"And all this time I thought that you were a rock with white hair." 

"Where did that come from Seto?" Yami asked.

"I saw a little rock and I imagined it with white hair." 

"Okay..." 

"Come on you lazy butts! We're almost there!" 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow!" 

"Shush Bakura. Read the sign." Yami pointed in the direction of the sign.

                                    _Please. No pictures, no filming, _

_                                   No touching, No stealing, and_

_                                  No talking._

"Oh."  I walked around admiring the beauty of the historic fort. 'You know….as nice as this is this is so freakin' boring!'

Step

Crunch

I froze in place. 'What the?' I lifted my foot to see what I might have stepped on ' oh, it's nothing but a cockroach…….cockroach?……cockroach!' 

"Ah cockroach!" 

"Bakura. Shut up!" 

"I crushed a cockroach! Ew…gross!" 

"Sir, please discontinue the talking." An employee said.

"Sir I just killed a cockroach." 

"If you do not stop talking we will have to throw you and your friends out." 

Seto walked to the employee. " Sir, no need to throw us out. We have to be on our way anyways." 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow Bakura……I didn't know that you were so afraid of cockroaches." 

"Well now you know. Yes Yami, I am afraid of cockroaches." 

"Shut up. Both of ya'll. Bakura, do I stay on  interstate 10?" 

"Yes Seto." 

"Thank you. What the hell?!" 

"What?" 

"Look to your left."

"What the-" 

"What?" Yami asked. "What's so shocking?" I pointed to him.  "What the-" 

"Now you see"  All three of us stared at the small building we saw, that was practically o the middle of nowhere.

"The Toilet Seat Museum." I muttered.

"I wonder if they have any for sale? I've been needing a new toilet seat for years." 

"Whoa, that was way to much info." I yelled to Seto.

"I agree with Bakura, Seto." 

"What? You wanna come to my house and see for yourself?" 

"No thank you." 

"Okay." 

"Even if they did sell them we wouldn't have time. Remember…El Paso, night time?" 

"You're right Yami." 

"What about me Seto?" 

" ……I have no comment…." 

"Fine." 

"Fine."

"So….what are we going to do? Sit here in silence till we get there." 

"Well…..If I still had my radio knob, Bakura, I would turn on the radio." 

"So what are we going to do?" 

"We are going to sit here in silence." 

"Fine. I can handle that. How long till we get there?" 

"About two or three hours." 

"Oh…okay." 

            1 hour later………

"Wow, I can't believe it. Not a word or sound has been made for an hour." Seto, how much longer?" 

"About another hour." 

'Great. Another hour of intolerable boredom.' " Okay….no….not okay….Seto what can I do? I'm bored." 

"Turn around and you'll see what you can do."  I did as Seto said. Yami was lying there fast asleep. "You can learn a thing or two from Yami." 

"Fine….good night Seto." With that I closed my eyes. 'This is impossible! You can't just close your eyes and fall asleep….even if I am getting tired….even if my eyelids…seem….to feel….heavier…………………..

"Bakura, Bakura..." 

"No! Get away from me you evil squirrel!" 

"Bakura…wake up!" 

"Huh. What? Where am I?"

"We're in El Paso." 

"What….no…we can't be." 

"Leave it to me, Yami."

Yami nodded.

"Damn it Bakura, wake up. I have to ask you a question like I did Yami." 

"Shoot." 

"We have a choice of two hotels." 

"Okay." 

"They are the Hampton Inn and Best Western. Which one would you like to stay in?"

"Hampton." 

"Good. That makes three of us." He sighed. "Now I have to go and see if they have some rooms available. I'll be back." He got out of the car and walked into the hotel's lobby. 

"So Yami…..how long do you think it will take him?"

"I don't know." 

"Yeah. So…how are things going for you in the backseat?" 

"Oh! Every things fine." 

"Really. That's good." 

"Yeah. How are things going for you in the front seat?" 

"Very well." 

"Cool." 

"Yeah….I figured out what this button is for." 

"Really? Cool. What does it do?" 

"It raises and lowers the window." 

"Wow! That's cool!" 

"Isn't it?" 

"Yeah!" 

"So…." 

"So…." 

"Oh, I think I see Seto coming!" I yelled.

"Really?" 

"Yeah!" 

"Cool." 

"Wow, listen to us. This is what boredom does to the human brain." 

"Yup." 

"Yep."

Seto got in the car. 

"So?" I asked.

"Well, they only had one room available." 

"That could be a problem." 

"It has a king sized bed and a sofa." 

"Yeah. So?"  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a hotel room key card. 

"You got the room?" 

"No. I stole this card cause I thought it looked pretty." 

"Well, I think that it kinda does look cute. I mean look at that card. Look and it and tell me it doesn't look cute." 

"Damn it. Yes Bakura. I got the room!"

"How are we going to sleep?" 

"By closing our eyes." 

"Let me rephrase that. What are the sleeping arrangements?" 

"We'll figure that out later. First things first. We need to have dinner." 

"Where? We're practically in the middle of nowhere." 

"We'll find a place. Trust me."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow, that was good." Yami said as we walked into the room.

"Yeah, but who knew that Bakura would jump on top of the table with two straws up his nose and cluck like a chicken to just get fifty cents off his damn chicken sandwich."

"What do you expect Seto? It's Bakura."

"Big point." 

"Hey!" I yelled. I stared at the room. "Guys. What about the sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh yeah..." Seto looked around the room carefully. "Okay, Yami you can take the sofa and I guess me and Bakura can take the bed."  Yami looked at Seto strangely. 

"Well I guess it's off to bed. We got a long way to go tomorrow, right?"

"Don't ask me. Bakura, where do we go from here?"

I pulled out my map and began to stare at it. 'We are here and we have to stay on interstate 10…so we should be around here I guess' "Seto, according to this we should be somewhere in Arizona or hopefully somewhere in California."

"Okay. Well come on lets get to bed." 

"Well good night Seto. Bakura." 

"Don't tell me that you are going to sleep in those tight clothes of yours." 

"Actually I'm going to wait till you two go to sleep so I can get comfortable." 

"What, do you like to sleep bare as the day you were born?" 

"Actually…..no. If you don't mind I sleep in my boxers." 

"Oh." 

"Bakura!" Seto yelled. " I hope you don't mind but I sleep the same way Yami does." We all stared at each other.

"Okay, I guess we should get going to bed." We slowly turned so our backs faced each others. Slowly I removed my clothes 'Damn. I just had to wear these ones. Of all days, today.'  I turned around and walked to the bed. "Copenhagen blue Seto?" 

"Yellow with a big smiley face on your ass Bakura" My face reddened. 

"Shut up!" 

"You." 

"You." 

"Hey!" 

"Yami, blue with red polka dots." 

"At least I don't have a big smiley face on my ass." 

"Leave the smiley out of this." 

"Guys, lets just get to bed. We have got a long day tomorrow, okay?" 

"Good night all." Yami said as he laid down on his sofa.

"Night Bakura." 

"Night Seto." We both climbed into the bed. This is so weird if you ask me. Oh, well. Seto turned off the light. Well, so far so good. I wonder what tomorrow will bring for us….adventure, a quest…..more intolerable boredom. Whatever it is I think I can handle it……..how much longer till we get to Disney World?

A/N: Did this suck? I don't know but I do know it took me a long time to type. Sorry if this is starting to feel slow. I have already started to write ch.3. he he he I have a lot of "fun" in store for them, including a new character. Tell me if you like this ch. Thanks for reading. 

  
  



	3. what more can happen

Disclaimer: I said it once and I'm not going to say it again, so Yami and Mr. Evil Squirrel will say it for me.  
  
Yami: Yugi's Angel  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: Ka  
  
Yami: Icewolf  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: or whatever you know her by  
  
Yami: does not own Yu-gi-oh  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: I couldn't have said it any better Yami. Now, Yugi's Angel..can we have that coffee break you promised?  
  
Yugi's Angel: *glares* ...fine  
  
A/N: Last chapter was a little on the blah side but what can I say. Oh yeah, AU! I can forget to mention that little yet important detail. Starts from Houston, Tx. Now that I think of it I use a freakin' road map of the USA to help me plan what's next. This is important: I am so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up but well it is rather long and all of my school work is getting in the way. Two essays, ipc worksheet, w. history worksheet, and a ton a geometry, that's only one days worth of homework for me. Hey Wildwolf, I've caught the little virus you have released upon ff.net..and I like it. Okay, on with Ch.3!!! yey!  
  
Ch. 3 - What More Can Happen?  
  
Bakura's POV  
  
~dream~  
  
"Now it's time to die Bakura"  
  
"NO Mr. Evil Squirrel"  
  
"Yes! Muahahahahahahaha"  
  
The evil squirrel raised the riffle and aimed carefully at my head. Slowly his finger pulled back on the trigger and -  
  
~end dream~  
  
"Ah!" I sat up in bed. Good, the others were still asleep. 'What a dream. Damn squirrel. One day I will get revenge on that fluffy tailed creature.' I laid back down on the bed that was harder than a freakin' rock. I stared at the ceiling. 'So bored, can't sleep.'  
  
"I wuv you teddy weddy!" Seto mumbled in his sleep. 'Okay' I thought. I felt Seto turn on his side. His arm wrapped around me. 'Oh dear God!'  
  
"I wuv you teddy weddy and I will never let you go" he nuzzled my neck. 'Ahhh! Seto has gone insane!.I think.'  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"Oh my God!" I heard Yami say. I cracked my eye open slightly so I could see what Yami was looking at. I looked around the room and then it caught my eye. Seto's arm was still wrapped around me.  
  
"Ahhh!"  
  
"Damnit Bakura, shut up" said Seto's sleepy voice. His eye then caught what mine had seen.  
  
"Ahhh!" we both screamed. Seto jumped off the bed and unfortunately landed on his feet. I jumped off the bed and hit my head on the lamp table and bruised my ass. Yami just stood there.  
  
"Hey Bakura" Seto said maliciously  
  
"What" I said flatly  
  
"Even when you fall and hurt your ass it still seems to smile."  
  
"What?" I asked slightly confused. Seto pointed at my boxers. Yep. He was right, damnit. The smile on my ass still smiled. 'Hmm, I have an idea.' "So the smile on my ass still might be smiling but why you lookin' Seto? Like something you see?" I slapped my ass, a little to hard.  
  
"Actually yes"  
  
"Huh?" I blinked rapidly  
  
"I like that shade of yellow"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"That shade of yellow.. I like it' "Smart Seto"  
  
"I mean. Yami, have you ever seen a nicer shade of yellow?"  
  
"Ah.ah.. Seto can you get our bags out from the car" Yami changed the subject  
  
"Sure Yami. Bakura, do you want your bag?"  
  
"Yes" Seto exited the room. "So Yami, we meet again"  
  
"What are you talking about Bakura and by the way.what was Seto's arm going around you? Like him. Not that it is a bad thing." My face became red. "Why are you blushing Bakura?" Why was he interrogating me?  
  
"Ah..." Think Bakura, think. "I'm blushing because I'm standing right in font of you in my boxers with a damn smiley on my ass"  
  
"Oh"  
  
There was a banging on the door. I guess it's Seto. "Hey Yami, can you get that?"  
  
"Nah, I have to go and sit on the sofa"  
  
"Well, I have to go and brush my teeth"  
  
"With what?"  
  
"Ah...."  
  
"Bakura! Yami! You better be opening this damn door!" Seto pounded hard on the door.  
  
"I'll get it" Yami went to the door and opened it to let angered Seto in.  
  
"Thank you Yami" his head darted toward me " you" he roared "you, you wanted me to stay out there. Didn't you"  
  
"Yeah" I replied. " I think I gave the wrong answer because Seto dropped all the bags at the entrance and attempted to attack me. As he jumped I move just a little bit to my right. He fell, hitting the floor with great force. The room shook. I'll bet anything that the people in the room below us are calling the main office right now to complain about the noise.  
  
"Seto, are you okay?" Yami asked "Yes, just fine thank you. Bakura, dear friend" he mumbled something that sounded a lot like dear friend who got me into this mess, broke my car radio, and made me fall on the damn floor "dear friend, aren't you going to ask me if I'm okay?"  
  
"Why should I? Yami already asked and you already gave your answer."  
  
"Because I said you should"  
  
"Okay, okay, okay. Seto, my dearest and closest friend, are you okay?  
  
"Yes Bakura, that is so kind of you to ask" This time I was the one to start mumbling thing to myself. I looked over at the bags.  
  
"Hey Seto, you got the bags"  
  
"Yeah" he said as he got up off the floor. "while we're on the subject, what in the hell sis you pack in your bag Bakura? If you ask me it smells like an animal crawled into you bag and died or that you woke up, found out you forgot to pack, grabbed a mound of dirty cloth, shoved it into this duffle bag, and attempted to cover the smell up with Odor Eaters. But that's just what it smells like"  
  
"Really" I said "you have some imagination Seto." How did he know that I used Odor Eaters? 'I know, to get rid of the smell all I have to do is wash my cloth.' "Hey Seto, do we have time for me to send some of my stuff to the hotel laundry?"  
  
"Nope. We have no time to spare. You said it yourself last night. We have to be around California/Arizona boarder by sun down today.  
  
"So there's no time"  
  
"No"  
  
"Okay" I grabbed my bag and walked into bathroom. First I need to brush my teeth, ew! Zombie breath.. I still think that my bag still smells worse. After I brushed my teeth, it was time to try and wash some of my clothes. I looked around the bathroom. Where to wash my cloth? Sink?.to small. Bathtub?.to big. Toilet?..hmmm, it has water in it and if I flush I get a rinse cycle.the toilet.  
  
"Bakura, hurry up! We're all ready to go!"  
  
"I'll be there" I'll be there alright, with nice, clean cloth. He he he. I changed my boxers and put on a pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. Now what to used as detergent? I looked around some more and found the small bottles of complementary shampoo. I picked up the bottle. It makes suds like detergent, it smells good like some detergents, it cleans like detergent. It'll work! I had to do a test wash so I grabbed my yellow boxers and dumped them in the toilet. I poured all the contents of the small shampoo bottle into the toilet and the flushed.  
  
"Flushy, flushy" I saw my boxers get sucked into the toilet. "Oh shit! That can't be a good thing"  
  
"Bakura, hurry up!" Yami and Seto yelled. "What's taking so long!"  
  
"Ah, I'm having zipper trouble"  
  
"Oh...ouch. Take your time now" Seto said through the door.  
  
"I will, trust me." I glanced back at the toilet. Suds were cascading form the top. "Holy shit!" I yelled  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah..zipper trouble" Seto said  
  
Water started to pour out onto the floor. Before I knew it there was five inches of suds on the floor and about an inch of water. I grabbed my bag, which was now soaking wet and smelled like toilet water and dead animal. I ran out of the bathroom as fast as I could.  
  
"Come on ya'll, gotta be going. Time's a wastin'!" I hurried them out of the room. 'Please, just go.'  
  
"Okay, okay" Yami said  
  
"Oh Bakura, lock up the room for me. I have to go and pay the bill. Yami, can you load up the car?"  
  
"Yeah" Seto threw his keys to Yami "see ya'll in a few minutes."  
  
Yami grabbed Seto's, his and my bag and walked off to Seto's car. I left the room and before I closed the door I turned to look at the bathroom. Suds covered the floor where the bed was. 'I wonder if those smiley boxers are still smiling?' I closed the door and left. Yami had already loaded the bags and was leaning on the hood of the car. I bet he was trying to look cool.  
  
"Bakura, what did you pack in that bag of yours?" Yami questioned  
  
"Um, cloth"  
  
"Right"  
  
"Was that sarcasm?"  
  
"Maybe"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Maybe"  
  
"Grrrr"  
  
"Oohh, the rock with white hair is mad"  
  
"Oh yeah, pineapple head"  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"I called you a pineapple head. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yeah. I understand. I understand that you are a -  
  
"Are ya'll ready?" Set asked  
  
"Yeah" we both said  
  
We climbed into the car. As usual Yami had the backseat to himself, Seto drove, and I sat in the passenger's seat. Seto handed me the map.  
  
"Here you go map master. Where to?" I looked at the map. "Interstate 10. According to this we will be on it all day."  
  
"Okay" Seto said as he turned the car on "lets rock"  
  
"Whatever you say Mr. Al Bundy. Mr. Pathetic women's shoe salesman" I said to him.  
  
"Hey"  
  
"Just kidding"  
  
Seto entered the interstate and we were off yet again. To Disney World! We'll that was a nice thirty seconds of excitement. I'm bored!  
  
"Hey Seto, I'm bored!"  
  
"Here" he handed me a cross word puzzle book. "I thought that when we were about." he glanced at the clock "Three minutes into the trip you would say something like you being bored"  
  
"Thank you Seto"  
  
"It was nothing" He looked up in his rear view mirror " Just as I thought, Yami would be laying out on the backseat...sleeping"  
  
"When doesn't he sleep"  
  
"When he is awake. Here, this should be good" He gave me one of those fat, Crayola markers. "Draw something on his face like a mustache or something"  
  
"He, he, he, okay" I climbed over the backseat and began drawing on Yami's face. An hour later we neared the Texas/Mexico boarder. " Hey we're about to leave the state of Texas!" I yelled.  
  
"Yeah Bakura, and it's about time to. Hey what did you draw on Yami' s face?"  
  
" I drew glasses, a mustache, and a beard. It kinda looks like Santa Clause."  
  
"Good boy Bakura" he patted me on my head  
  
"Hey. When's breakfast"  
  
"It's whenever we get into New Mexico and reach some civilization."  
  
"But, but, but that could be years, that could be days, it could be hours"  
  
"Stop being such a drama queen Bakura"  
  
"Queen?" I looked at him evilly  
  
"Yes, queen" My mouth dropped to my feet at his words, okay maybe not literally. That would hurt. "You can't deny the fact that you are the most famine looking of us three" I glared at him hard. " don't give me that look." I kept giving him that look. "Okay, when we get to civilization and after we eat some breakfast I'm going to take you and Yami to some girly store and dress you up all cute, then we'll see..muahahahahahahahaha!  
  
"Your scaring me Seto so I'm just going to look this way"  
  
"Fine by me but if you look ahead you can see the Texas boarder"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes" I looked strait ahead. He was right. I saw an oversized star with the Texas flag waving beside. We passed by it within seconds. Soon after we passed the welcome sign of New Mexico. It was a big sign with a cactus. (A/N: forgive me if I get these things wrong. I have never been to more than half these states so sorry)  
  
"We're in New Mexico Seto!"  
  
"Yeah, now sit back and work on your crossword puzzle book"  
  
"Okay"  
  
I opened the book and searched for something that I was capable of completing. Floral design, vocabulary, famous actors, ancient Egypt. 'Ancient Egypt.that's something that I might be able to handle.' One, down. Spirit to go to afterlife. 'Is that the Ka?' I wrote the two letters in the provided spaces. 'Guess so.' Two, down. Stone used as foundation at Giza. 'I bet my yami would know that..foundation.' I thought for a while and came up with the answer of limestone but does it fit? I wrote the word in the blanks. Alright! It fits! I did a few more questions and finally looked up. It had been hours since I last looked up.  
  
"Hey Seto"  
  
"Hey. It seems like you like that little book"  
  
"Yeah, it provides hours of challenging fun'  
  
"Yeah. Well, at least you like it"  
  
"So where are we?"  
  
"Not in Texas that's for sure" I looked out the window. All I saw was scenery and the lonely interstate. "why don't you look at the map Bakura."  
  
"Nah. Is Yami still sleeping?"  
  
"Yep. Santa Clause still sleeps"  
  
"How does he do it?"  
  
"To this day it remains one of the wonders of the world" Seto said. He sounded much like the show host of Unsolved Mysteries. "Until next time, I'm Seto Kaiba" "Hey Seto, I just saw a road sign"  
  
"So"  
  
"So, dumb ass"  
  
"Watch it Bakura"  
  
"Sorry Mr. Seto Kaiba. Aka, drama QUEEN!"  
  
"That's it! Next town. Next exit" he said as he read a road sign. "I'll show you who the drama queen is!"  
  
As the exit approached he swerved the car to it. As he drove he began to mutter phrases that sounded a lot like: Bakura, your so gonna get it. I'll show you. Nobody calls me a dumb ass! Much less a drama queen. I'll show him... It continued that way for hours. Seto hadn't noticed, while in his own little world, that he had passed several small towns. 'Damn. I'm so hungry! I think my stomach is trying to murder me. That's a thought. Man killed by his own stomach. Like that'll happen, maybe when cows become evil and attempt to kill people in passing by cars.' I looked in the passenger side mirror just for the hell of it. 'Oh dear God!' A big, evil, mooing cow was running at the car. I tore my eyes away from the window. The cow was right there! I calmly turned toward the muttering, revenge seeking Seto, and tapped his shoulder. He continued to mutter. I tapped his shoulder again. He still muttered.  
  
"Ahem, Seto" I got his attention, finally  
  
"What!" he snapped  
  
"What would you do if I said that a big, evil, murderous, mooing cow was right beside my window and was attempting to kill us all"  
  
"I would probably take you straight to a mental home"  
  
"Ooh, the kind with the warm straight jacket and the nice padded walls and floor"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Yey! Oh and Seto" I pointed out my window.  
  
"Ha, that's a nice prank Bakura" The evil cow started to ram the car.  
  
"Now Seto, I'm not trying to insult your intelligence when I say this but...why in the hell would I want to kill myself?" "This isn't a prank?"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"That's a real evil cow?"  
  
"Yep"  
  
"Ahhhh" he screamed  
  
"Ahhhh" I screamed  
  
"MOO!!!" the cow mooed. "Moouahahahahahahahahamoo"  
  
"I sense something possessing evil powers" Yami said groggily as he woke up. When he sat up and looked out the window he screamed. "Ahhhhhhh!" The evil cow hung back to look into Yami's window.  
  
"Moo!" the cow mooed in fear  
  
"Ahhhh!" Yami screamed  
  
"Mooo!"  
  
"Ahhhh!"  
  
"Moo!"  
  
"Ahhhh!"  
  
I think that the cow was afraid of Yami's face, then again who wouldn't be afraid of a 5,000 year old yami with a mustache and beard like Santa Clause's, not to mention the horrendous bed -head hair. The cow stumbled upon it own leg and fell hard.  
  
"Speed up Seto!!!" I yelled "Speed up!"  
  
"What the hell do you think I have been doing"  
  
"Hey guys"  
  
"What Yami?" me and Seto questioned  
  
"Beside the fact I have a sudden urge to dance a little happy dance, look at the road sign ahead" We looked. The sign read:  
  
Welcome to Albuquerque  
  
"Ah, Bakura...where's Albuquerque?  
  
"Don't kill me when I say this but I think -  
  
"You think what Bakura.."  
  
"I think -  
  
" You think ..."  
  
As we continued on with the you think I think conversation Yami reached over the seat and grabbed my road map. He sat back in his seat and read the map calmly.  
  
"I think -  
  
"You think.."  
  
"I think -  
  
"You think.."  
  
"I think I found Albuquerque on this map." Yami said  
  
"What" me and Seto asked  
  
"I think I found Albuquerque on this map and if I'm correct we are about 3 to 4 hours away from the interstate we need to be on" The car came to a halt.  
  
"What!" Seto screamed " what the fuck!" he yelled. Seto got out of the car and walked toward the back of it/  
  
"How do you think he is taking it" I asked  
  
"I don't know. I really don't know"  
  
Seto began to kick and hit the car. He grabbed a nearby stick and begun to charge at the car.  
  
"Ahhh" he scream as he tried to attack the car. I think the car attached him. As the tree branch made contact with the car he fell backwards. Ouch.  
  
"Hey Yami, I think he's taking it well." I glanced over at the unconscious looking Seto "real well" I added. "oh, how cute Bakura"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think your lover is taking a nap in the middle of the road"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Kidding, just kidding. Should we get him in the car?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Who's going to drive?"  
  
"Not me" I said clearly  
  
"Fine! Lets get Seto" we both got out of the car  
  
"Yami, you grab his legs and I'll take care of his head" We heaved Seto into the backseat and I slammed the door. I heard a clunk as I did, I think I hit his head.  
  
"Bakura, were you careful not to hit Seto's head?"  
  
"Ah, yes Yami. Do you think that I am that careless?"  
  
"Actually yes"  
  
"That's nice" Yami sat in the drivers seat. He adjusted the mirrior and turned the car on.  
  
"Bakura, if I were you I would buckle up"  
  
"Santa.I mean Yami, you don't know how to drive do you?  
  
"Nope!"  
  
"Great Scott! We're all gonna die!"  
  
Yami put the pedal to the medal.  
  
"Hey, this is fun"  
  
"Yami, how fast are you going?!" I yelled  
  
"Ah, 120mph (miles per hour) is that bad? Do I need to go faster?"  
  
"No! if anything SLOW DOWN!"  
  
A siren could be heard. It's sound was coming from behind us. Shit, all we need a Yami who can't drive, Seto in the backseat unconscious, and a car going about 130 miles per hour over the speed limit.  
  
"Yami, stop the car"  
  
"Why"  
  
"Look in any one of your mirrors"  
  
"Shit"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Yami slammed on the brakes and the car came to a sudden, screeching halt. The cop behind us also stopped abruptly. The cop got out of his car and began to walk toward our car or should I say Seto's car. He knocked on the glass and Yami rolled down the window.  
  
"Problem officer?"  
  
"Step out of the vehicle sir" Yami stepped outside and I moved myself over to the driver's seat. "Sir do you know how fast you were going?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Don't get smart with me Goldie Locks"  
  
"But my hair has more red and black than gold"  
  
"That's it! Sir my I have your license?"  
  
"No"  
  
"And why is that"  
  
"I don't have one"  
  
"Sir you have the right to remain silent! Now put your hands behind your back"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You know what I'm gonna book you"  
  
"Book me?"  
  
"Throw you in jail you little dumb ass"  
  
"Me, jail...I don't think so. Mind Crush!"  
  
"Yami, you just can't use Mind Crush on a cop"  
  
"I had to"  
  
"Right"  
  
"Hey I'm hungry, you?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Then lets get going. Downtown is only five miles away"  
  
We got back in the car and Yami sped off yet again. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"I'll have the Mocha Coconut Frappichino. What about you Bakura?"  
  
"I'll have a venti (large) cappuccino"  
  
"Should we get something for Seto?"  
  
"What good will it do? He's unconscious"  
  
"Good point. That'll be all. Bakura, go and grab a table while I finish up here"  
  
"Sure" I wondered around and found a table. What a day it has been. First Seto with his arm around me, the toilet incident, the drama queen war, and now this. Well, here we are in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in a wonderful Starbucks. One question lingers in my mind though. Okay, I lied. Two questions: how do we get back to interstate ten without loosing time and how the hell did I survive Yami's "driving"? Hey, speaking about Yami, here he comes with my cappuccino. Yippee Skippy!!!"  
  
"Here you go Bakura"  
  
Yami sat down and we both drank our Starbucks coffee silently. A little while later.......  
  
"Damn, that was a good cappuccino. How was you Frappichino" "Ve.ve..ve.very go.go..good" he said. Oh no, a yami high on caffeine. "Le.le.le.lets go Ba..Ba..Bakura"  
  
"Yami, are you alright?"  
  
"Why.wh.why you a..a..a..a.ask? Oh, look at the time, 13:00. We're late, we're late, we're late!!! Come on Petunia."  
  
"Bakura, the name is Bakura"  
  
"Oh, sorry Bakura. We're late. Look at the time, just look at the time" He grabbed my by my shirt collar and dragged me out to the car. "Get in. We're late! Oh look at the time, just look at the time!" He stated the car and speed onto the interstate. Every road sign he passed he knocked over. What did I do to deserve this. 'You let Yami have a coffee that was loaded with caffeine you idiot. Remember Yami Bakura and the double shot Espresso you gave him? Huh, remember. He was banging on a pot wearing a pair of pink bunny ears claiming to be the Energizer bunny.' "Ooh, Bakura look at all the pretty green things to knock over."  
  
"Those are road signs!"  
  
"Knocky, knocky, knocky. Hey big, humongous, gigantic road sign ahead of us...your going down" he yelled.  
  
He accelerated the car. If I don't die from this it'll be a miracle. I heard movement from the backseat so I turned around to look. Yey, Seto was waking up.  
  
"Hey Seto"  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Who's driving?"  
  
"Yami"  
  
"Really?" he sat up and looked at the front windshield. "Oh hell no!"  
  
Yami was maybe about five feet away from hitting the largest road sign I had ever seen. Seto jumped over to the front seat and grabbed the steering wheel. Yami him hard on his bare arm.  
  
"Ah! Bakura get him off me!" "Nah"  
  
"Ahhhh!" Seto swerved the car to the left, barely missing the sign. "Stop this car Yami!"  
  
"No! it's mine. Get your own!" he stuck his tongue out at Seto  
  
"Yami, if you don't stop this car right now I'll make sure that you will never see another cup of Starbucks coffee ever again." With that Yami slammed the brakes a jumped out of the car. "Where are you going Yami" screamed Seto. Yami ran into the middle of the road and started to dance. "What did you do to him Bakura? He was suppose to be the somewhat sane one here"  
  
"I..ah.did nothing"  
  
"Bakura" he scorned  
  
"Fine.I let him have a lot of caffeine" His face went expressionless. I decided to watch Yami make a fool of himself.  
  
"Dance.right, left, right. Come on Bakura" Yami yelled "Seto"  
  
"I'm one step ahead of you" Seto ran out into the middle of the road and began to dance with Yami. "Dance..right, left, right. Am I doing this right Yami?"  
  
They continued to dance. 'Hey we have to be around California or in California by sundown!'  
  
"Hey guys" I yelled. 'Oh, like they are really going to listen to you.' I charged up to them, grabbed them by the ear, and dragged them both to the car. "You..drive" I threw Seto into the driver's seat. "You.sleep" I threw Yami in the backseat. I walked over to the passengers side of the car and grabbed the collar of my shirt. "You.into the car" I threw myself into the car. "Seto, drive" This is so awesome. I, Bakura, was commanding the CEO of a major corporation, and Yami, the darker half of Yugi. "Yami, bark like a dog" he did as I told.  
  
"Woof, woof, woof"  
  
"Good boy" I patted him on the head "go to sleep" he fell on the seat and fell asleep. "Wow"  
  
An hour went by and I couldn't help but be bored. By now Seto and Yami had snapped out of their odd but wonderful trance.  
  
"Seto, what's that up ahead"  
  
"It looks like a small city"  
  
"Yey! Civilization"  
  
"Yes..civilization..muahahahahahaha!"  
  
"Seto?"  
  
"Prepare yourself Bakura!" I looked at him in total confusion. "I hope you look good in a dress."  
  
"NO!!!!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Hey! Some people are trying to sleep here!" Yami yelled  
  
"And you to Yami" Seto said cynically  
  
"What?"  
  
"I hope you look good in women's cloth my friend"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No!"  
  
We entered the small city. "Hmmm..where to go?"  
  
"Hey looked Seto, a fashion mall" Yami pointed out  
  
"Thank you Yami"  
  
"No!" I screamed  
  
Cutie pie, or should I say Seto, turned the car into the fashion mall's parking lot. "No, no, no! Please Seto, you win"  
  
"You're not getting off that easily" Seto smirked  
  
"There's a parking space Seto" Yami pointed out  
  
"Thank you Yami. Oh, and keep in mind my friend that just because you're helping me you're going to get out of this little...competition.  
  
"Damnit" Yami whispered. Seto parked the car and turned his head towards me.  
  
"Come on sweetie pie" he pinched my cheek in a painful way "we're going to get you and Yami all dolled up"  
  
"Seto" Yami said seriously "I have found a little flaw in your little competition"  
  
"Oh yeah Mr. Know-it-all. What? What is my flaw?"  
  
"Well, to properly determine which of us is the most feminine not only me and Bakura have to dress up as girls"  
  
"What are you getting at?"  
  
"You would have to also dress up as a girl" Yami smiled maliciously as he said this to Seto  
  
"NO!!!" Seto screamed  
  
"Yes, now let the competition begin!"  
  
"Yami and I got out of the car but Seto sat there. Apparently the shock of Yami's news paralyzed him.  
  
"Hey, lets drag him in"  
  
"I like your thinking Bakura" We went to the driver's side of the car and opened the door  
  
"I'll grab him and you can drag him"  
  
"No" Yami objected  
  
"Fine, you grab and I'll drag"  
  
"No" Fine. I'll grab and drag and you can close the damn car door"  
  
"Now we're talking!"  
  
"Lazy" I grabbed Seto's head and began to pull his heavy body from the car. For a tall, skinny guy you would think he couldn't weigh so much. Yami shut the door and I began to drag Seto. "Hey Yami?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Why did you have to point out the parking space farthest from the damn store?"  
  
"Maybe because I didn't think that Seto was going to into shock or something like that when I told him that he would have to dress up too"  
  
"Whatever you say Santa. I mean Yami"  
  
"Why do you keep calling me Santa?"  
  
If only he knew. "No reason Santa. I mean Yami"  
  
"Whatever. Hey do you know what city this is anyways?"  
  
"I think I saw a sign that said this is the city of Gallup"  
  
"Cool. Now lets act natural"  
  
"One problem"  
  
"What would that be?"  
  
"How the hell can I act natural if I am dragging a person that weighs about a ton?"  
  
"Don't ask me. You are the one that volunteered to drag him"  
  
"Shut up" Seto began to move. "Hey. I think he's coming around"  
  
"Good" We stopped and waited for a few minutes. Seto came back to his good ol' self. "Come along Seto" I grabbed Seto and pulled him close to me. We entered the first store of this outdoor fashion mall.  
  
"Hello, how may I help you gentlemen"  
  
"Well, we three all need you feminine make over"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"We need you to turn us into women"  
  
"Okay. Yes, follow me" We followed the lady up until we reached the cosmetic section of the store.  
  
"The makeup artist will be with you momentarily"  
  
"Thank you" Seto said ' you have been most helpful" We stood there like a bunch of idiots.  
  
"Hello and how are you gentlemen?" said a tall, red haired woman  
  
"Fine, thanks. We would like for you to turn us into women"  
  
"Okay, okay. You" she grabbed Seto's face "You look like a dusty rose, ivory, lilac, and in desperate need of some yellow based concealer. What's your name?"  
  
"Seto"  
  
"Well Seto, you're first"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes" She dragged him into a room and Yami and I decided to sit down on the ground. It felt like an hour had passed when the makeup artist came out from her room.  
  
"You with the multi-colored hair, come with me" Yami followed the lady into the room where Seto had walked into. I sat there, afraid of what was to come. ' Will I look better as a girl.I hope not.' I imagined myself in a tight, black cocktail dress...hey! I look like a freakin' plank in that dress, oh that's a good thing right? Or is that bad? I hate this! 'I must admit though.I have a nice ass.' It seemed like another hour had passed when the red-haired lady come out of her room again.  
  
"You, with the frizzy white hair, come with me" Those were my dooms- day words. I followed her into the room. "Sit here" she studied my face carefully. "Okay, close your eyes" She began to apply a cold liquid to my eyes and then some other cold liquid to my face. "Okay, you looking beautiful" she applied some powdery stuff and some other makeup items girls use.  
  
"Okay, you are already looking like a beauty queen"  
  
"Gee, thanks"  
  
"Go through that door now" she pointed to a door on my left.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Your going to get your legs waxed and your nails done"  
  
"Nails?"  
  
"Fake obviously. You'll also be getting your legs waxed"  
  
"Nails?"  
  
"Yes, now go through that door" I got out of the chair and walked into the next room. Pain!!! Pain in its purest form!!! Pain is what it was. Leg waxing, evil. Glad I'm not a woman. After my nails and legs were done I was told to go through another door. 'How many doors are there?' In there they put me into some super sort shorts and in a short tank top.  
  
"Go out this door and join your friends"  
  
I walked out and saw Yami and Seto. Seto was wearing a short, tight pink cocktail dress and Yami was wearing a leather mini-skirt and a small t-shirt.  
  
"Well, how do I look" I asked  
  
"You are definitely THE most feminine of us all and the shorts bring out your ass. Wouldn't you say, Bakura? So Yami, do you also agree that he is the most feminine."  
  
" I so agree. Oh, and Bakura"  
  
"Yes, honey"  
  
"Why in the hell was there a beard and a mustache drawn on my face! The lady called me Santa Clause damnit. When she did that I looked in the mirror and what did I see? Santa Clause damnit! Me, Santa Clause. You did it. You!"  
  
"How do you know I did it? It could have been Seto"  
  
"I know because when Seto was driving I was sleeping; and was unconscious, I was driving"  
  
"huh?"  
  
"You were the only one who could have done it! Think about it."  
  
"Whatever"  
  
Seto paid me and we walked out of the store. "So we need to get to California or around there before sundown, right?" Seto asked.  
  
"Yep" I said  
  
"Let's get a move on then"  
  
We walked into the parking lot and car came up slowly behind us.  
  
"Hey guys, move to the side to let the car pass" Yami suggested. We moved to the side and the car came up beside us.  
  
"Hey babe" said a blonde teen from in the car. "Hey, how would ya'll bunch of babes come with me back to my place" he looked at us carefully. "Yami? Seto? Bakura?"  
  
"Yeah, who are - " I looked at the blonde teen carefully " Jounouchi?"  
  
"Yeah man"  
  
"Ah.hey. I didn't know that you would be here"  
  
"And I didn't know that you looked so damn hot in girls cloth"  
  
Seto smirked. "Jounounchi, which of us do you think is the most feminine looking?  
  
"Definitely Bakura"  
  
"Ha! Thank you but know we must be off"  
  
"Okay, See ya'll"  
  
"Bye" We all said and then began to walk to the car.  
  
"How do women walk in these things!" Yami complained  
  
"It's easy." Seto said "the trick is going heel, toe. Try it with me. Heel, toe, heel, toe"  
  
"Cool, I think I got it now" We got to the car and got in.  
  
"Where do we go?" Seto asked. I grabbed my map and began to read it. 'Okay, we are here in Gallup, so why don't we take interstate forty? It is practically parallel to interstate ten.'  
  
"Seto, get on interstate forty and stay on it for a while, okay"  
  
"Got it" Seto found the nearest entrance into the interstate and took it. Once again we were back on good ol' interstate. I picked up my puzzle book and pencil and began to working on the Egypt puzzle again, Yami slept, and Seto drove. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"Hey guys" Yami spoke  
  
"Ah!" I screamed  
  
"What"  
  
"You scared me. I thought that you were asleep"  
  
"We'll I'm not so ha, ha. Anyways that sign back there said that the New Mexico/ Arizona border is only five miles away.  
  
"Good" Seto said exhaustedly  
  
"Why do you sound so tiered Seto - Wetto" I asked  
  
"Maybe because I'm tiered"  
  
"Why"  
  
"Because"  
  
"Why"  
  
"Because"  
  
"Why"  
  
"Because!" Seto's right eye began to twitch. "Bakura, if you don't shut the hell up I'll - Hey! We're in Arizona! Zippidy du dah zippidy day my I my what a wonderful. Plenty of sunshine comin' my way zippidy du dah zippidy day!  
  
"Great" I whispered to Yami "now we have a radio"  
  
"Yeah, but can we change the station?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Zippidy du dah zippidy day wonderful - I hit Seto on the back of his head. He accidentally turned the car onto a one way country road. Oh, well. Seto began to sing another song.  
  
"Oh a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down..  
  
"He's high" I said  
  
"Yeah, but off what?" I shrugged my shoulders  
  
"Hey where are we?"  
  
"Beat the hell out of me"  
  
"Don't tell me we're lost"  
  
"No, we are not because you have me, the Map Master!"  
  
"Well Map Master, where are we?"  
  
"I don't know"  
  
"And you call yourself the Map Master"  
  
"You dare challenge my authority!"  
  
"What authority!"  
  
"My authority"  
  
"You have no authority. You're just a boy sitting in the front seat of a car with a person high off something beside you and our only roadmap on top of your head!"  
  
"I am the Map Master!"  
  
"Yeah, and I am the master of pancake making"  
  
"Actually Yami Bakura is"  
  
"That was uncalled for. If you are really the Map Master tell me where we are'  
  
"Fine" I grabbed the map from on top of my head and began looking. 'We're not there, oh are we here.no.there? Hey that's in Oregon!.wrong state. We're not there, no, no, no.' "Yami, the Map Master has his answer"  
  
"Good, now are we lost or do you know where we are"  
  
"We are lost"  
  
"Oh! Oh! Did you here that Seto? Did you?"  
  
"Shut up Yami. I'm trying to drive!"  
  
"Uh huh, right" Yami said sarcastically "you have the freakin' car on cruise control!"  
  
"So"  
  
"Okay" We sat there in silence as Seto drove for about a hour down the same country road.  
  
"You know what Bakura, Yami?"  
  
"What?" we asked  
  
"We're lost"  
  
"Hey I tried to tell you that but no. You were to busy 'trying to drive' "  
  
"Shut up will you Yami" Seto yelled  
  
"We're saved!" I yelled. I pointed to a heavily guarded building. Fences went all around it's perimeter, military trucks circled it. "lets go in and see if and one knows how to get back on the interstate"  
  
"Fine" Seto turned the car toward the guarded building. What is this place? Well, I guess we'll find out in a mater of minutes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay, this chapter was getting to long so I split this chapter into two chapters. I didn't get to introduce the new character or anything. Sigh. I hope this chapter was okay. What did ya'll think? Oh, I' m going to tell you in advance that it may be about a month before I out up the next chapter. My school work is killing me but with every second of free time at school I am writing on this fic so sorry for the long waits. Don't forget to tell me what you think of this chapter. 


	4. what more can happen part 2

Disclaimer: (it's somewhere around here)  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: So, so, so. You had to cut the last chapter in half. This is what I have to say..Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!  
  
Yami: That's not very nice Mr. Evil Squirrel  
  
Yugi's Angel: Hey, Yami's right!  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: So. Hahahahahahahahaha  
  
Yugi's Angel: If you don't stop being so mean to me I'll have Yami shave off your little fuzzy tail.  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: Ha! I'd like to see you try. Remember, you don't own any of the characters from Yu-Gi-Oh! You DON'T own Yu-Gi-Oh! Muahahahahahaha  
  
Yugi's Angel: Do you have to be so mean?  
  
Mr. Evil Squirrel: .......yes......yes I do  
  
A/N: wow, it has been yet another long time since I updated, but I think somewhere along the last time I updated and this time I was eaten by either my geometry book, plays of Sophocles book, or maybe my IPC book. I have been swimming in a pool of homework. So please forgive me. I did come up with a strategy that would allow me to update quicker.but I still have to test it. I'm babbling aren't I. Okay I'll shut up but one last thing. Thank you to all that have reviewed. Thank you very much. Now on with the chapter.  
  
Important Note!!! In this chapter I said that area 51 is in Arizona ( which is the wrong location) I had no clue when I wrote this that it was really located in Nevada. Forgive my mistake.  
  
Previously in Chapter 3  
  
"We're saved!" I yelled. I pointed to the heavily guarded building. Fences went all around its perimeter, military trucks circled it. "Let's go in and see if anyone knows how to get back to the interstate." "Fine!" Seto snapped.  
  
Chapter 4 - What More Can Go Wrong part 2 Ryou's POV  
  
Seto turned the car onto the driveway. The building looked like a prison, to me at least, but who knows what it really was? All I care about is how to get back to the interstate. Any interstate, as long as it leads to California.  
  
"Bakura, are you sure they would have directions to the interstate?" Seto questioned. "I'm positive!"  
  
"Okay. This place freaks me out! It reminds me of Area 51 or a place like it."  
  
"It reminds me of a big prison." I said.  
  
"It reminds me of some kind of secrete military compound." Yami said.  
  
Seto drove slowly toward the main building. There was no visible parking lot, so Seto stopped the car in the middle of a big cement platform. "Well," he said shakily, "everybody out." We got out. Yami and I walked casually toward some doors. Seto walked slowly with his hands and arms glued to the side of his body, he was walking kind of like a super skinny penguin would.  
  
"Hey Seto? What's wrong with you?" Yami asked.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Yami. What makes you think that something is wrong? Nothing's wrong?" he said shakily.  
  
"Of course something is wrong!" I blurted out. "Can't you see, Yami? Mr. Seto Kaiba, big, bad ass CEO, is afraid of the mean ol' scary building!"  
  
"So!" He snapped.  
  
"What's going to happen, Seto? Is the big bad building going to grow teeth and bite your head off?" Seto shrieked with fear.  
  
"Ha!" Something cold grabbed my arm as I said that. 'Oh my God! The building is growing arms! It wants to take me away and eat me!' I shrieked like the girl I looked like. 'Hey, this girl's cloth is kinda comfortable. Ahhh.. I should wear this stuff more often!'  
  
"Doctor, what species do you think it is?" a cold voice asked.  
  
"Species! You have to be insane to consider this an ordinary earth species! This is clearly extraterrestrial, a stranger from an unknown universe."  
  
"What do you mean doctor?"  
  
"Look at the hair coloration, an abnormal shade of white. Look at that one, the one in the tight mini skirt; it has three different colors in its hair. Look at that."  
  
"I see doctor. What should we do with them?"  
  
"Why must you ask such a stupid question? We must take them to the laboratory for further studies!"  
  
"Yes sir!" The assistant (or at least I think he is the assistant) began to pull me. I refused to move.  
  
"NO! You'llnevergetmealive!" I yelled.  
  
"Schultz! They speak an odd language!" the assistant yelled.  
  
"Excellent! I'll call the laboratory head to get the machines ready. By the time we'll be done with them they would have been stripped down to their bare bones."  
  
"Ah! No! Letmego!" I yelled.  
  
"Doctor, it refuses to move! What should I do?"  
  
"Ah, a brain of some kind. The other two tried to run but a sedation injection was administered."  
  
"I don't think that a sedative will work on this one, doctor"  
  
"Do what I would do then, bang him on the head with this" Doctor Schultz handed his assistant his neon green clipboard. Why does he have a neon green clipboard? Metallic pink would suit him so much better.  
  
"Thank you, doctor."  
  
"No! I yelled "I'll put a spell on you"  
  
"He uses supernatural forces. Amazing!" Schultz commented. "Hurry now Mr. Lechuga, I can't wait to start running the tests!" he smirked.  
  
"Yes sir" Lechuga said. He raised that green clipboard and BANG! Who knew that a person could pass out from a little tap on the head with a clipboard? Okay, so it wasn't that little. Okay, okay, it wasn't little. Okay, all I'll say is that he hit me hard enough to make me pass out. Happy?  
  
A little while later..................  
  
I opened my eyes slowly. I saw white. Did I die and go to heaven? I was laying on some kind of metal table. 'Hey, is it just me or is it a little drafty in here?'  
  
"Hey, Bakura." Seto said to me. "You're looking good." he winked. Now what in the hell was that supposed to mean? I sat up. Holy shit!  
  
"Ah!" I screamed. They had totally stripped me down! No cloth, none at all! "Hey, wait a second.why you looking Seto?" He shrugged. The door to the room opened. 'Oh no.'  
  
"Lechuga! Restrain the specimen!" The damn lettuce man ran over to me and flipped me so I lay on my stomach. (A/n: I should have mentioned this a little earlier lechuga is the Spanish word for lettuce.)  
  
"Doctor Schultz, I have the specimen ready for the first experiment."  
  
"Good work Lechuga" Schultz said as he walked over to some metal drawers. He opened one of them and pulled out a long, thin, metal object. What the hell are they going to do?  
  
"Lechuga, restrain his arms" he said as he walked around me.  
  
"Hey Bakura, I really wish that I would have brought a camera."  
  
"Ha, ha very funny, Seto. By any chance could, you please tell me what they are about to do?"  
  
"You'll seen very soon or shall I say feel very soon"  
  
"What?" I laid there in silence for a while and then... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Pain and a hell of a lot of it, Dr. Freakystine just shoved that long, thin, metal stick up my ass! I'm going to be sore tomorrow, no doubt about it!  
  
A few more painful experiment later.............  
  
The room was the most depressing room you would ever see. Plain white walls, average size metal door, and a white teddy bear with the name Lechuga on it. I'm not even going to ask.  
  
"So how were the experiments Bakura? Were they fun, fun, fun?"  
  
"Yeah, they were 'fun, fun, fun.' All right lets see. I had a metal stick shoved up my ass, 3 inches of skin pulled off my arm, I had to run on a treadmill and recite the names of all the craters on the moon, they gave me a CAT scan. which reminds me, those two 'Doctors' said that my head is emptier than Bill Gates's coffee mug."  
  
"Huh?" Seto and Yami said at the same time.  
  
"You get the basic idea. They also called me a rock with white hair."  
  
"Well, you know if you stand at this angle you kinda do look like a rock with white hair."  
  
"Gee, thanks Seto. I feel special."  
  
"I'm glad." The door opened. Dear God no! Please don't let it be the stupid goons! Damnit! It was them.  
  
"Mini Lechuga" Schultz ran to the little white bear "Aww! I'm so sorry I left you here!" He began to cuddle the bear (and he calls us odd). He kissed it a few times and put it inside of his coat pocket. "Lechuga."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Prepare for the hypnotic test!" He walked towards me. "I want to hypnotize the rock with white hair."  
  
"Very well." Lechuga left the room  
  
"Now that we are all alone tell me. how did you get here? What planet do you come from? Who is your leader?" We just sat there....  
  
Cricket, cricket, cricket  
  
STOMP!  
  
"Seto, what was that for?"  
  
"It was making a noise." Yami and I glared at him. " What?!....it was!"  
  
"Answer my questions you God damn cross-dressed aliens!" Schultz yelled. Yami stood up. He looked so serious, to the point of being admirable (minus the mini skirt and small tank top) "Oh, well, well, well you decided to comply with my demand." Yami still stood there. "So answer my questions!" Schultz yelled. Yami stepped up close to him. I had gained a new respect for the guy that is until he started to sing and dance to the Can Can. At that very second I had lost all that respect for him, all of it. Gone. Down the drain and shredded with the garbage disposal, yeah. Yami started to dance around in circles kicking higher than I knew a male was capable of. He hit Schultz a few times in the face and in a very unpleasant place for a guy when he made one of his low kicks. Seto just stared at him in shock; you really can't blame him though. When things were just about to get ugly- Schultz had grabbed a hammer from who knows where- Lechuga walked in with all he needed for the hypnotic experiment.  
  
"Where would you like me to set this equipment Doctor?" "Right there on the floor." He replied while hiding the hammer behind his back.  
  
"Yes Doctor." He put the equipment on the ground and began to set it up. While he was doing that, Schultz hid the hammer. I, on the other hand, was sitting on the floor watching Yami dance with an odd craving for a nice cup of Starbucks coffee. Lechuga got up off the floor and made it clear to Schultz that the equipment was all ready. Schultz walked over to me and dragged me till I was sitting in front of the equipment. Lechuga grabbed Yami and forced him to sit down next to Seto. I really don't want to go through with this. Schultz walked behind me and I attempted to get up and run- I remembered what happened to me last time he walked behind me- but Lechuga ran over and kept me down. Why? Schultz tied my hands behind my back and I sat there. The lights in the tiny room were turned off and the equipment was turned on. Lechuga used some thin metal rod, much like the one that has made my ass so sore, that had a tiny light at the end of it. He waved it back and forth and began and my eyes followed. Right, left, right, left..... I became entranced. Schultz began to interrogate.  
  
"What planet are you from?" he barked.  
  
"Earth!" I yelled back.  
  
"Who is you leader?"  
  
"The president."  
  
"Why is your hair white?"  
  
"Natural."  
  
"How did you get here?"  
  
"Car."  
  
It kept on like this for what seemed to be an eternity. Some road trip we're having, or should I say some road trip I'm having. Doesn't it seem to be the best way to spend a summer vacation? Well, whatever. A while later the interrogation with the stick with a light was over. It's about time to! Seto and Yami had fallen asleep that's how long this little session was or was it just that boring? What ever the case was I'm just glad that it is over with. I yet again tried to get up, this time with my hands tied behind my back, and yet again Lechuga held me down. Schultz walked out of the room which could be a good thing or a bad thing. I sat there, Yami slept, and Seto was in the process of waking up. So interesting. Lechuga was taking apart the equipment that took him so long to set up. Schultz walked in happily leaving the door behind him wide open, not that it would do much for me in this situation. In his hand he held some kind of beaker with a clear fluid. He handed it to Lechuga. "Give him this." He said "I don't quite think his is telling the truth."  
  
I shut my mouth tight but it was to no avail, Lechuga pinched my nose shut forcing me to open my mouth to draw in air. As I did that he poured the liquid into my mouth and forced me to swallow. I feel dizzy, la la la la la le le la la la la!  
  
"Now tell me, alien. Tell me everything about yourself." Schultz yelled. I tried my best not to look at him, so I looked around the small room. Yami asleep, Seto completely awake, Lechuga looking real pissed off. "Well, start talking!" I hate to say this but I started talking and the worst part of it all was that all I said was the truth. NO!!!!!  
  
"Well when I was five ................................................................ and then there was the time I got in a verbal fight with a teacher, I had d-hall for a week. Not my nature, I know, but when you had 2 hours of sleep you get a little touchy. Oh, have I mentioned that you look as if you need to drink more coffee in the morning? I like Seto. I also think that I'm being stalked by an evil squirrel ......................................................"  
  
That little session was quite a lengthy one. Schultz reviewed almost everything I said while muttering some things to himself. Lechuga untied my hands and allowed me to sit against the wall were Seto and Yami were. Yami still slept. He sleeps through, anything doesn't he? Seto stared continually at the open door. I just sat there and watched Schultz and Lechuga argue about some of the things I said. Seto leaned over toward me and whispered in my ear.  
  
"If we run now we might be able to make a run for it. Wake up Yami and tell him" I nodded and tapped him on the shoulder. Oddly enough he woke up. 'That was easy.' I told him the plan and we waited for Seto's okay. When the doctor and his assistant's fight got to the point were neither of them took their eyes off each other Seto signaled the okay. We got up and ran. Hey, I wonder if there is a draft in this place. As we ran toward the area where Seto thinks we came through- I was unconscious at the time- I realized something. I wasn't wearing the same cloth I came in with, unlike the other two. I was wearing one of those hospital gowns that have absolutely no backside. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! This one had a big pink flower on the front and it was covered in lace. I can only wonder were they got such a hideous thing.  
  
"That door." Called out Yami. "I remember it."  
  
"Your point?" Seto yelled.  
  
"We need to make a right at that door."  
  
Lechuga and Schultz were running after us along with a bunch of their fellow employees. Each had a long tranquilizer gun in hand.  
  
"We're being attacked with a phalanx!!!" I yelled.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, Bakura?" Seto asked.  
  
"Phalanx, world history." As we kept running he gave me a blank look. "Never mind." We ran like hell and by the time we had made the right turn at the door my ass felt like a damn ice cube. We ran by a doctor who had a poor soul hostage. . Santa? I looked at him again. ... it's Santa Clause! We ran by him and he called out to us "Run, cross-dressed alien-people- things..RUN!" I guess that we took his advice because we kept on running. We ran down the hall until we saw a door.  
  
"Is that it Yami?"  
  
"Yep." We ran to the doors and out them. In the distance the car could be seen and right next to it was Santa's sleigh. Wow, I guess Santa really does exist. Schultz and his army were gaining on us. To be exact they were about four feet away from us. Now doesn't that just sound peachy? Peachy as a freshly baked peach pie. Now were did that thought come from..maybe that's just my stomach trying to tell me that if I don't feed it it'll try and eat me. We got to the car and jumped in at record speed. Just as I shut my door lettuce boy Lechuga came. Seto turned the car on and sped off. Schultz shouted something and held out mini Lechuga. I can only wonder why he has that bear and considering how creepy he is, I don't think I really want to know.  
  
"Hey Bakura, what was up with that Schultz guy and that teddy bear?" Seto asked.  
  
"Do any of us really want to know?" I am assuming he caught what I was implying because he asked no further questions. We drove down the lonely road that led us to Area 51 (aka.hell on earth). We were so lost.  
  
"Hey Seto, are we lost again?"  
  
"How about you take out your little handy dandy road map and tell me. You did claim to be the map master." I took out the map and looked, and looked, and looked some more. "Hey! How do I know where to look if I don't even know where we are?" Seto shrugged. "Some answer that is."  
  
"How about we stop there and ask for directions?" Yami said while pointing to an old looking shack on the side of the road. "They might know how to get back on an interstate."  
  
"Sure" Seto drove over to the shack and pulled over. A lady came to the window.  
  
"Wanna buy a squirrel?" (a/n: yes, this idea came from Rat Race. Just to let ya'll know) the lady said.  
  
"Ah no!" Snapped Seto. "We need directions to the interstate."  
  
"And well who is this. What's you name?" she asked me.  
  
"Bakura."  
  
"Hey Bakura, would you like to buy a squirrel?" she turned around and started pointing to some of her squirrels. There was one with a pink tail and an attempted ponytail, there was one with a spiky tail and a cowboy outfit, and then there he was. My stalker.it was the evil squirrel. He was were the most adorable outfit of them all, a pink ballerina dress, some pink slippers, and a sparkly rose on top of its head. How cute but it looked as if it would kill me if it could. "Do you wanna buy that one?" she pointed to the evil one.  
  
"Ma'am, all we want is directions to the interstate. Do you know where that is?" Seto was becoming very impatient.  
  
"Course I do; I'm not a dumb ass like yourself, now am I?"  
  
He became really pissed. His grip on the steering wheel became tight and his breathing became heavy. I guess that Seto really isn't a good person to insult. I had to do something because if I didn't, we would lose our only chance to get back to the interstate.  
  
"Excuse my friend, ma'am; he is just having a panic attack of some kind. May you please tell us how to get to the interstate?" I put on a very sweet and sincere face. I think it worked because she smiled at me.  
  
"Sure, I'll give you the directions but wouldn't you prefer me to give you the short cut directions?" all of our eyes widened.  
  
"Please, we need to save all the time we can get!"  
  
"Just follow these directions precisely. " I nodded. "Go north down this road 1.4 miles you'll see a sign saying Arizona Turtle Museum. Make a left and go down that ol' dirt road for exactly 2 miles, there'll be a sign telling you when it has been 2 miles. Make a left there and it should take you strait to the interstate."  
  
"Thank you so much." Seto was about to drive away when she told us to wait. She handed Seto a paper bag that said: 'I love nuts' and the bag had a big heart on it. He glared at her and sped away. Seto drove down this road for exactly 1.4 miles and made a left at the turtle museum. As we passed the turtle museum we all looked at it with confusion. A turtle museum in the middle of nowhere, how very interesting. Seto continued to drive down the road until he saw the to mile marker. Ha, we are almost to the interstate and who knows how many hours we just knocked off. All I have to say is thank you Mrs. Squirrel lady, thank you so much. Seto made the next left turn and sped up the car.  
  
"Seto, why are you speeding up?" I asked.  
  
"So we can get to the interstate faster."  
  
"I see."  
  
Seto sped the car up some more. He looked happy; I guess it was because we were finally where we had to be. An odd feeling swept over Seto, Yami, and me. For some odd reason it felt as if there was nothing below the car as if it were flying. Seto's eyes grew wide with fear that caused me to look back and see if Yami had the same reaction. He did, am I always the last one to find out about things? I looked out my window and became horror struck. The car was falling down a cliff, oh dear. I checked my seat belt, just to make sure that I don't die on impact if anything I would like to die a few minutes after impact so that I'll know exactly how I died. The car crashed and Yami, who was too stunned to put his seat belt on, hit his head on the roof of the car.  
  
Was I alive or dead? I opened my eyes and saw a bright light, it burned. I was in hell, wasn't I; what did I ever do? WHY! I was slapped across the face and I snapped out of whatever daze I was in. I was alive and Seto just slapped me, I have to remember to thank him later. I leaned forward and the car did to. I looked up and saw what used to be a red Corvette teetering above us. I leaned against the dashboard to get a better look. The Corvette fell right onto the hood of Seto's car. A skeleton lunged forward and in its bony ol' hand there was a bag that read: 'I love squirrels' and had a big red heart on it. We all screamed and ran out of the car. At the bottom of this cliff there were a countless numbers of wreaked cars; apparently nobody wanted to buy a squirrel. We walked away from what we considered the car graveyard.  
  
We soon entered plain desert so we did all we could do and that was to just keep walking. We walked and walked, and walked, and then we walked some more. Seto and Yami began to run. What did they see that I didn't? I looked straight up ahead and I saw what looked like a Seven-Eleven and. and. the interstate? Was this a mirage or was it real? I decided to run behind Yami and Seto. We ran and it wasn't a mirage, it was real! That was a real Seven- Eleven and that was the real interstate. We crossed the interstate and walked into the Seven-Eleven. Seto bought three waters and three candy bars; at least it was something to eat. All of these events and yet I still ask the same question: What more can go wrong? Great, I think that I just jinxed my luck didn't I and if I just did I can't unjinx it because I do see any wood to knock on. We sat outside on the curb while eating our candy bar and drinking our water. I looked at the only car in the parking lot and it just reminded me that we had no car. How are we supposed to get anywhere?  
  
I looked at Seto.  
  
"Seto, how are we supposed to get to California before sundown without a car?" Seto just glanced at me and looked at the single car in the parking lot. What was he thinking? Yami was also staring at the car, I can only wonder what he was thinking. Seto got up and approached the car and Yami followed. They both worked together to open the hood and Seto, being as smart as he is, hotwired the car along with the keyless entry code. Yami jumped in the back and Seto yelled at me to get in quickly. I got up and ran in and Seto got in and peeled away. I looked in the passenger side mirror and saw that the clerk had a two-barrel pistol and was aiming it at the back tire.  
  
"You'd better be speeding up Seto!" He took my advice and sped the car up. I cannot believe it. I am riding in a car that was stolen by Seto, who was aided by Yami. I just can't believe it. hey this car has a radio but I don't think that now is the time for music. The ride became quite peaceful after a while and it became real quiet to. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the crossword puzzle book that Seto had given me.  
  
"Seto, do you have a pen?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Do you have one in you duffle bag?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"But I am sure you had one in your bag."  
  
"I hate to tell you this, but we left all of our things in the car." My face went expressionless at his words and Yami just let it go over his head. "We'll just have to get some new things later."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The car went silent again. I must admit it was a nice sized car with leather seats and some cool computer stuff, Yami looked up at the rearview mirror and mentioned about the built in electronic compass. Seto looked up at it. It said that we were going south, now when did we make a turn around? We continued on the same southward path for a while when we saw it. We had finally got back on track! It was interstate ten and Seto had found a way to get onto it.  
  
"Hey guys we are back on track! Bakura, did you check the glove compartment for the pen you were looking for?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, go ahead and check" I opened the glove compartment and I found a sparkly, pink gel pen. Oh no, I wasn't about to do crossword puzzles with a pink, sparkly gel pen. I stared at it for a while and then came to the conclusion that it was better than sitting here in total silence, I have already done plenty of that. I opened my crossword puzzle book and began working on the ancient Egypt puzzle I had started a few days ago. Wow, it was great to know that we were finally back on the road we had to be on, now nothing can go wrong.hehehehehe. Time seemed to have flown by when I started working on the puzzles because when I had finally looked from my book Yami was dead asleep in the backseat and we had already entered the state of California.  
  
"Seto, how much longer before we stop for the day."  
  
"Well, according to the road sign Los Angeles is only one hundred twenty- five miles away."  
  
"Is that the closest?"  
  
"I don't know. Check the map. map master."  
  
"I would but we have one problem." Seto's eyes widened "The map is in your car."  
  
"Well then, I guess that Los Angeles is the closest because the other cities are around three hundred miles away."  
  
I went back to my crossword puzzles. As I worked on the puzzle, Yami's atrocious snoring became even worse. How the hell is a person to think in such an environment!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! At first it was tolerable but this is ridiculous! First of all how can a person sleep so much and second of all how can a single person snore so freakin' loud! I took off my shoe and sock; the snoring would end now. I turned around and climbed over to the backseat. Carefully, I raised my hand that held the sock, so that it was leveled with his mouth. I let him snore a couple of times but when he opened his mouth wide, so he could yawn, I shoved that nasty sock of mine in his mouth. There. no more snoring. I climbed back over to my seat and went back to my puzzles. I did here some odd sounds that sounded a lot like Yami spitting my sock out and falling back asleep, but that was probably just my imagination.  
  
"Do you hear that Seto?" He gave me a confused look. "Hear what?"  
  
"Exactly! I stopped Yami's snoring."  
  
"That's a relief."  
  
"Yep. I'm not only the map master, but I am also a genius." Seto rolled his eyes and went back to driving. Only now do I appreciate the wonderful silence.  
  
SNORE!  
  
What! How can he be snoring? I stopped it with the sock! I stopped it with a damn sock! I turned around and saw that the sock was missing. NOOOOO. "Hey genius, I thought that you stopped his snoring." I glared at him. "What?" I kept glaring. "You know glaring at me will do nothing, right?" I glared for a little while more just to annoy him some and then I went back to my puzzle. The snoring.it's so agitating! Note to self purchase some of those Breath Right strips.  
  
"You look annoyed Bakura. You know what helps to tune out the snoring?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"To just ignore it."  
  
"Gee, thanks for the advice." I went back to my puzzles yet again and the weird thing is that I actually took his advice but to make things even weirder his advice actually worked. The ride went smoothly and in no time we arrived in Los Angeles. Yay! Now the hard part came: to find a hotel for the night. Yes there are plenty of hotels, you would think there would be in such a large city, but to find on e with some vacant rooms was the problem. We went around and around till we found one. Seto booked the room but there was one tiny catch, there was only a single full size bed that would me two of us would share and one of us would sleep on the floor. Oh well, at least we had a room and for a fairly good price. Since we had nothing to unpack, we went straight from the hotel lobby to eat. Yami found a very nice sounding restaurant and Seto decided that we should eat there.  
  
"Wow, everything sounds so good." Yami commented.  
  
"Yes, it does." Seto added.  
  
"Wow, everything is so expensive." I said.  
  
"Don't worry Bakura. Sometimes you forget that you are traveling with the CEO. Do ya'll know what you're going to have?"  
  
"Yes." Yami and I said.  
  
Seto waved for the waiter to come and take our orders. A while later the orders came. I looked at my plate and saw that everything looked so delicious except for one thing. The thing that looked gross looked kind of like a fried frog. I picked it up by what I thought was to be the leg.  
  
"Hey guys, what in the hell is this?" I waved the odd looking thing around.  
  
"It looks like a deep fried frog." Seto said.  
  
"I have to agree with him." Yami said.  
  
My facial expression must have been an odd one because they gave me the strangest look I have ever seen, a look even weirder than the one Schultz gave the teddy bear named Lechuga. I looked down at the frog and saw that it's skull had been crack and ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... It looked as if the brains of the tiny creature had been seeping out of that hole in its skull. Being me, I touched it and my assumption was right. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I threw that thing as fast as I could without looking. I heard it hit something made of glass so I turned around to see exactly what I had hit. I went into shock. The stupid frog had landed in some old guy's wine glass and not only that but now the old guy had a big red wine stain on his white suite.  
  
"Excuse me. I think I have to go hang myself." "Wow, that was a good dinner all except for when Bakura threw the frog into that guy's wine glass" Yami said.  
  
"Ha ha, very funny. I thought that it would land on the floor not in a wine glass."  
  
Seto walked in the hotel room and yawned. "I'm tired. What are the sleeping arrangements?" Yami and I looked at each other.  
  
"Okay, I'm assuming you want me to come up with some right?"  
  
"I'll sleep on the floor." I volunteered.  
  
"Okay, that means that me and Yami take the bed."  
  
I walk over to Seto and did the best I could to whisper into his ear. "I truly sympathize for you. You have to sleep by the snore machine. Well, nighty-night." I grabbed my pillow and a bath towel and made my little bed right beside the full size bed. Seto climbed in, who ended up being right beside me but just a little higher than me, and Yami got in right beside him. This was going to an interesting night. Seto turned off the lights and almost instantly I fell into a deep sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I would like to make an apology to all. I am so sorry it has taken me sooooo long to update but a part of my new year's resolution is to make faster updates. With my new computer I think I can accomplish it. Now as for the fic goes I hope ya'll are liking it. This chapter was supposed to get real interesting with the new character I was going to add but I found out that Death Valley is somewhere near Nevada so that has to wait till next chapter (which I have to say is already in progress) so yeah that's enough of me talking. I always thank you for reading and I will be thankful, no doubt, for any reviews given.good ones, bad ones, or even nasty flames. Till next time.... 


	5. Hello Cactie

Disclaimer: Do I have to?  
  
Yami: Yes, last thing I need is you to own me! Just look at what you did to poor Bakura! For crying out loud a fried frog!  
  
Author: But I don't want to say it!!! *starts crying*  
  
Yami: Well you have to!  
  
Author: Fine! But you will pay...muahahahahahahahaha..oh yeah, I don't own Yu-gi-oh!!!  
  
Yami: *sighs in relief* Wait...  
  
A/N: Wow, I can't believe how long it took me to get this written. I blame it on school and driver's ed. They're EVIL I say..EVIL. Please forgive me for taking a millennium to get this up, SORRY, LO SIENTO, GOMEN!!!!! *sigh* I can only wonder how long it'll take me to finish this fic..i'm a failier *cries*, okay not really but w/e. I'll let ya'll alone. Oh, I always give a big thanx out to my beta wildwolf ^_^. HA, u didn't bring Yugi on the last day of school like u said.anyways...  
  
Chapter 5 - Hello Cactie  
  
It was a night from hell! Every hour on the hour, I was awakened by one of the loudest snore's I had ever heard; I could only imagine how Seto's night was. Why did he have to start snoring now, when I just so happen to need all the rest I am able to get?  
  
After a while of lying on the floor awake I noticed that Yami's snores were quieting down. I closed my eyes fast and fell back to sleep, finally some luck here. After about an hour of wonderful sleep I heard Seto moving around a lot. He was tossing and turning all while his arms and hands were flailing around. I didn't think much of it so I closed my eyes and when I did I heard something fall. My breath was knocked out of me and that was when I noticed what had fallen. It was Seto and he was lying right on top of me. I decided not to tell him to get off of me because his body kind of blocked out the sounds of Yami's snores and it acted as an extra blanket for me, a bath towel doesn't make for a good blanket. Hours went by and I slept like an angel.  
  
"What is this?" I heard Yami yell.  
  
I opened my eyes and saw Yami staring down at me plus the sleeping boy on top of me. "Hey Seto. Seto." He opened his eyes. When he looked down and saw me beneath him he screamed, "AHHHHHHHHH"  
  
I did all I could and screamed too, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"  
  
"Hey! Is this a screaming contest?" Yami asked, "Well, let me join in the fun. AHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
We were all screaming like idiots. When we realized how stupid we sounded we stopped and looked at each other. Yami muttered some words that sounded like, "I won."  
  
"Hey guys, we have to leave now so that we can go stop somewhere and get some necessary items."  
  
"Yeah! Damn Seto, your breath smells like shit! Wow, you need a toothbrush and some of that new toothpaste with mouthwash in it. not to mention some Tic-tacs or Certs" Yami said.  
  
"Aren't you just so kind Yami?" Seto asked him.  
  
"I hate to say it but he is right. Your breath stinks!" I told Seto  
  
"And yours does not?"  
  
"At least mine isn't that noticeable."  
  
"Ha, ha, ha. Now lets go!"  
  
"Fine!" Yami and I shouted.  
  
We headed out the door. Seto went to the lobby and I decided to follow him. There was one question I had to ask him. Yami walked over to the car and leaned against it, in yet another attempt to look cool. Seto went into the lobby and I followed. I just had to know. When he was done checking out and out the lobby doors I asked him,  
  
"Seto, by any chance. did you mention something about teddy weddy last night?" He looked at me strange. "Just asking."  
  
"How do you know about teddy weddy! I said nothing; there is no teddy weddy. What are you talking about? I'm thirsty."  
  
"But last night, I can recall you saying 'I WUV you teddy weddy!' do you remember, or were you just dead asleep and blurting out random phrases that pertained to your dream?"  
  
The look he gave was pure shock and panic. He grabbed me and whispered in my ear: "Say nothing to anyone about teddy weddy. Okay?"  
  
I shook my head. I never knew that he was so touchy when it came to teddy weddy. Seto and I walked to the car and got in.  
  
"So Seto, we going to get some needed items.like your breath freshener." Yami said.  
  
"Yeah, and by the looks of it, we are going to go to Wal-Mart." Seto looked at the shopping center across from the hotel. "It's the closest to us." He started the car and of we were to Wal-Mart.  
  
In the blink of an eye we were there; that's how close we were to the Wal- Mart. Seto's quest was on to find the "dream spot" (the parking space closest to the store), and for some reason the place was really crowded. Seto ended up parking in the spot farthest from the store; serves him right for trying to get a spot so close to the damn store, he almost ran over an old lady trying to get a good spot, and besides, he needs the exercise.  
  
"So exactly what are we going to buy, Seto?"  
  
"Personal items. toothbrush," he paused and smelled his breath, "strong mouthwash, some clothes to change into, ect."  
  
"Oh." As I walked I only thought of one thing: Did the store have to be so far away? Nonetheless, I walked. Yami was hanging back trying to look so "cool," it was actually quite a pathetic sight, not to be rude or anything, but it really was, not to mention he had this demonic looking crow following him. Stupid crow has to look so creepy; because of it I picked up my pace. I didn't want to get killed by a crow! Wait, do crows have a history of murder? Whatever the answer is, this one must have. I looked at it and ran to the Wal-Mart. Yami and Seto wondered what was wrong and decided to run after me. As I got into the store, Seto yelled my name.  
  
"Bakura! What was that for?"  
  
"Ah." I looked around, just to make sure the crow wasn't around. "Nothing. It was just one of those spurts of energy."  
  
"Energy! I'm tired as hell and you are having sudden spurts of energy! Where does all the energy come from?" he yelled. I swear if I didn't know him, I would have thought he was insane, but he does bring up a great point: where does all the energy come from? Yami walked up to Seto and I.  
  
"Hey guys, how about we meet at register eighteen when we are done getting what we need?" Yami suggested.  
  
"Sure," Seto replied, "but under one condition."  
  
"And may the be?"  
  
"We have to all be there in one hour; I prefer that we all get there in half an hour but if you must, be back here no later than one hour."  
  
"Fine." Yami and I said.  
  
We each grabbed our own shopping cart and went off on our own ways. I did see Seto go immediately to where the dental supplies were and I did see Yami go to the clothing department; I guess that he got sick of wearing the same clothes. Now, what do I need? I smelled my clothes and I caught a whiff of my hair. Okay, I thought that I was going to vomit after smelling that. So. I need clothes and shampoo. oh, and a toothbrush and all those other things. I headed over to the shampoo isle, but made a few stops to get some other items. As I walked into the shampoo isle guess who I saw. come on. GUESS! Fine, I saw Seto looking at all kinds of shampoo. I immediately saw the shampoo I use and put it into my cart but when I saw the shampoo Seto put in his cart I just wanted to die laughing.  
  
"Seto!" I called out. He looked around and pretended that he didn't hear me. I walked up to him and looked into his cart. "Johnson Baby Shampoo?" I questioned. "So you really are a baby! Look at this. no more tears, now Seto-Wetto won't start crying when it gets in his wittle precious eyes." He started to blush and I started to laugh. Yami walked by me and grabbed a bottle of the same baby shampoo. I stop laughing and started wondering, does that stuff really work well on hair? Seto looked at me oddly and left. As soon as he turned the corner I grabbed the bottle of baby shampoo. The stuff sounded amazing! Before putting it in my cart I looked around to make sure no one was staring and when I saw that it was clear I threw it into the cart and speed off. I walked around and got the last of the supplies I needed.  
  
As I got to our designated meeting place, I checked the clock on the wall and found out that I was almost half an hour late. Seto is going to kill me, that is unless I use some blackmail! Oh teddy-weddy. As I approached the meeting spot, Seto came up to me and whispered in my ear:  
  
"You're late, you know that, right?"  
  
I whispered back to him "Have you forgotten about teddy-weddy?" He got pissed. I think I shouldn't have said that but what's done is done. "Fine, you win. Get in line." He beckoned Yami to get behind me in the line and then he got behind him.  
  
It worked! Good ol' blackmail. muahahahaha.  
  
I began to place my items on the counter so they could be checked out. When I got to the baby shampoo I panicked and hid it under some boxers, at least the boxers didn't have a big yellow smiley. The old lady that was checking me out looked up and gave me an evil glare. Why me? Why must I be the one that old ladies dislike? My total came up to be one hundred five dollars. Seto came over and paid; I'm impressed that he didn't leave his wallet in the car that we had to abandon.  
  
Yami was next to check out and the old lady gave him a nice, warming smile. Who should I damn, me or him? I'll just damn him. it's so much easier. Damn you Yami. I got even madder when I saw that his total came up to eighty- eight dollars. Seto gave me an evil stare. Someone somewhere must hate me.  
  
After Seto paid for Yami's stuff he began to give the checker his items, once again the old lady gave a nice and warming smile. Damn that old lady. or should I damn myself, more specifically my luck. The checker rang up Seto's total and it came out to be ninety-two dollars. Damn luck of mine. Seto signed the receipt and gave me a very cold look.  
  
"So," he whispered to me, "why is it that Yami and my total were way less than yours?"  
  
"I don't know?"  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"That you breath still smells disgusting! Kinda like shit and and a water treatment plant put together."  
  
"Your mind comes out with the weirdest things."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Okay, enough wasting time, we got to be off."  
  
We each brought our own carts to the car. We walked and walked, damn car just has to be so far. I still say that it serves Seto right and I still say that he needs the exercise.  
  
We got to the car and loaded up the trunk. As Yami put the last of his bags in the trunk, and turned toward Seto. "Hey Seto, how about stopping somewhere for some breakfast?"  
  
"I like your thinking." He glared at me. "How come you can't be as smart as Yami? I don't think that you could come up with an idea like that in a million years."  
  
"I could come up with an idea like that," I said.  
  
"Oh really, then how come you didn't come up with that idea just now?"  
  
"I wasn't thinking!"  
  
"When do you think?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"That your breath STILL stinks and that you are beginning to gain some weight in the hip and upper thigh area." Seto looked at me in shock. His mouth was wide open and he gave me that "How did you know that?" look.  
  
"Fine, you've proven yourself."  
  
We got into the car and we were off, off to find a decent place to have breakfast. I could sure go for some eggs and coffee, preferably Starbucks coffee. Seto dove out of the Wal-mart parking lot and onto the road that ran in front of it. He drove for a while and right before the entrance to the interstate was a tiny little restaurant called Ellen's. Seto drove into its tiny parking lot and decided to double park. Shame on you Seto! Are you just that lazy? You can't even park the car properly. My stomach growled loudly. We got out of the car and almost literally ran into the restaurant.  
  
We were greeted by this a friendly looking old lady. She gave Yami a smile, she gave Seto a smile, and when it came to me her smile turned upside-down. Damn me and my cursed luck, especially with old ladies. The old lady lead us to a table a handed us each a menu.  
  
"What would ya'll fellows like to drink?" she asked us. We all looked at each other.  
  
"I'll have coffee." Seto said.  
  
"I'll have the same." Yami said.  
  
"And I'll also have the same." I said.  
  
She gave us a weird look and asked us if we like a particular brand or type of coffee.  
  
Seto asked, "Do ya'll have Starbucks already ground coffee?"  
  
"Sure we do, honey. So that would be three Starbucks coffees to drink?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Very well. I'll be back with your drinks and to take y'all's orders." She left and I picked up the menu. It all looked so good, but I wonder if they have some eggs. I skimmed through the menu and there it was, eggs. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't help but wonder what the other two were going to have.  
  
"So what are y'all going to have?" I asked.  
  
"I'm having waffles," Yami said, "it's been so long since I have had them, last time I tried to make them I wanted to see if the waffle maker was hot enough so I put my hand in it and the lid fell. well, you get the picture."  
  
"Ouch! What about you Seto, what are you having?"  
  
"I'm having some eggs."  
  
"Same here" I said. The waitress came back with nice hot cups of coffee. I grabbed my cup and took a big gulp. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Hot, Hot, Hot, VERY HOT!!!!"  
  
"I guess I forgot to mention that it is very hot, sir." she grinned at me. I bet she didn't tell me because she wanted to see me burn my tongue and suffer. If that was her wish, it sure as hell has been granted. "May I take your orders, or would y'all like a few more minutes?"  
  
"We'll order." said Seto.  
  
"And what'll it be?"  
  
"He and I want the eggs."  
  
"How would y'all like 'em?"  
  
"Scrambled, dry. You, Bakura?"  
  
"I would like my just plain scrambled."  
  
"Very well, and for you, sir?"  
  
"Waffles."  
  
"Okay, your orders will be out momentarily." the old lady left. Damn that old lady. She so reminds me of this one evil old lady at Garden Ridge. All I did was place some flowers in the wrong place and this old lady comes out of practically nowhere and yells at me. From then on my luck has gone downhill, at least with old ladies, not even my grandma likes me anymore. Then again, I think that it was because I feed her damn parrot a paperclip. How was I to know that a parrot could not eat a paper clip? I was only sixteen! After Polly's death she never did like me. Wait, it also could be the time I was feeing her fresh water fish and accidentally put salt in the water instead of their food. It's not my fault both containers looked so alike! Enough of this memory lane stuff, next thing you know I'll go into the stories of when my dad tried to potty train me and I.  
  
SLAP!  
  
NO! I shouldn't even think of it. Memories evil! My little trip down memory lane took longer than I would have ever thought. The waitress came and brought the wonderful food. I could almost feel my stomach begin to devour itself. We all thanked the "kind" old lady and dug in. It was all so good. Seto looked like a pig and Yami looked like a hyena, I never knew he liked waffles so much and not to mention he wouldn't stop drinking coffee. Our food was gone in a matter of minutes. Seto paid and we left. I can only wonder where we are going now. As we got in the car, Seto asked us a question.  
  
"Hey guys, how about we take a little detour up north?"  
  
"Where do you want to go, Seto?" I said flatly.  
  
"Death Valley."  
  
"Any particular reason you want to go to a damn desert?"  
  
"I have always wanted to." He smiled. Wow, a smile, a rare moment in the life of Seto Kaiba.  
  
I sighed. "I'm fine with that. What about you, Yami?"  
  
"Fine with me, I've always wanted to see a real desert."  
  
"Then it's settled." Seto said. "We're going to Death Valley!" Seto peeled out of the parking lot and speed down the road. I can only wonder if he knows where he is going, not even I know where we are going and I'm the Map Master. What I do know is that our final destination is Death Valley. Fun, fun, fun, I'm going to see cacti and dying rodents in the blistering heat. Fun, fun, fun. When are we going to get to Disney World? When? I looked at Seto and then at Yami. Yami seemed to be having fun. He was sitting on the backseat staring deep into space.  
  
"Hey Seto, how about we turn on the radio?"  
  
"Be my guest BUT don't break the knob off this time, okay?"  
  
"Okay." I turned the knob and the radio turned on.  
  
"I am Pegasus yo, yo, yo. Call me the J. Crawford Yeah man. I am Pegasus yo, yo, yo-"  
  
All of our eyes widened. OH MY GOD! I think I'm going deaf. It was Pegasus and to make things worse he was rapping, or at least trying to rap. When the song was over, thank God, the radio jock said that it was one of Pegasus's newest song; "I am Pegasus Remix". Creepy. Before the next Pegasus song came on Seto turned of the radio.  
  
"Makes me glad that you broke the radio in the other car. really glad." I turned around and took a look at Yami. He was in the process of staring into space while attempting to strangle himself. Seto drove on. I got bored and since we had about an hour before we would get there I took out my puzzle book and pink, sparkly gel pen. Okay, three across. ....................  
  
A while later we passed the Welcome to Death Valley sign. Wow, the place was just as I had pictured it. Cacti, dying rodents, and blistering heat. Seto stupidly turned off the air conditioning so that we could get the feel of the desert. It was so "interesting," I think I would have more fun staring at my rock collection for the next million years. I looked at Seto and saw that he was ecstatic; I never knew a desert could do something like this to a person. I looked at Yami and he was squirming around quite a bit, what was his problem?  
  
"Hey, Yami, are you okay?" I asked.  
  
He shook his head vigorously. "No."  
  
"What's the problem?" He used hand gestures to tell me to come closer.  
  
"I have to really have to go." I went wide-eyed. "I think I had a little to much coffee to drink."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Okay, I know I have had too much to drink. I don't want to tell Seto."  
  
"Then I will, okay?" He nodded. "Hey Seto, I have to go."  
  
"Go where?" he asked.  
  
"Go and take a nice, long piss. Oh, Yami is coming with me, I don't trust the desert."  
  
"Okay, get out and go find a nice bush. I will sit here and admire the beauty of this lonely desert." Seto said. Yami and I got out of the car and went in search of the perfect bush.  
  
"Yami, when you see where you want to go let me know so I can leave you in peace, okay?"  
  
"Yeah." Yami looked around and the saw the perfect spot. "Hey Bakura, I'm gonna go over there okay?"  
  
"Sure, I'll be over here then. Holler if a snake attempts to bite your ass." Yami went his way and I went my way.  
  
Yami's POV (A/N: the first time I break away from Bakura's POV. OMG!) I walked over to what I thought was the perfect spot. As I relived myself of all the extra liquid in my body I looked around. Man this desert place is boring, and I thought that listening to Bakura talk about nonsense was unentertaining; I was wrong. I looked around some more and then I saw it. It was the new love of my life, hiding behind a bush in the near distance. She was beautiful and as soon I finished up with nature's call I ran to her.  
  
"Yami, is everything okay?" Bakura called out to me.  
  
"Yeah, I just don't trust this bush in front of me. It keeps giving me this evil glare."  
  
"Okay, but you should hurry things up. It's getting way to hot out here. At least in the car the sun isn't constantly beating you on the back."  
  
"Okay." I ran toward my new love. I'm coming! Please wait for me! When I got to her I marveled at her beauty. A lovely tone of green, tiny spikes protruding from its body. She was beautiful, a beautiful cactus.  
  
(A/N: I'm so going to get flamed for this aren't I?)  
  
I took off my shirt and used it as an aid to digging her up. After successfully digging her up I wrapped her in my shirt and headed back to where Bakura was.  
  
Bakura's POV: Yami walked toward me. Why did he have no shirt on, and what the hell was he holding in his hands? Whatever it was looked bulky and was wrapped in his shirt.  
  
"Bakura, tell Seto to open the trunk."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Look." He revealed to me a cactus, now why would he have a cactus with him? Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to start growing cacti back home in Texas, but he could just go a buy a damn plant at home.  
  
"May I just ask one question?" He nodded. "Why do you have a cactus?"  
  
"No reason in particular."  
  
"What, did you just like it or something?"  
  
"I guess you could say that."  
  
"Okay." I walk toward the car. Seto was still admiring the desert. How much could you really admire in this place? Sand? I guess you could admire each and every piece of sand; knowing him, he would. You have to remember that this is Seto we're talking about, the guy that named each and every one of his Cheerios before chomping down on them.  
  
"Seto, could you open the trunk?" I yelled. He didn't hear me; he was too busy looking down at the sand. I walked over so I was right beside him. I didn't want it to come to this. I keeled down so my mouth was level with his ear.  
  
"Oh SETO!" I yelled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Open the trunk!"  
  
"Fine!" He opened the trunk, and Yami ran for it. He threw the cactus in the trunk and grabbed a new shirt.  
  
"So sorry, my love." He whispered. "What should I call you?" He thought and whispered to it. "Your name will be Cactie."  
  
"Yami, if you don't want to stay in this desert forever, I recommend that you get in the car now."  
  
"Fine!" He snapped and went into the car. I went around the car to close the trunk. He is so lazy, can't even close the trunk. I looked down and an arm of the damn cactus caught my eye's attention. "So you're Cactie. Hello Cactie. goodbye Cactie." I slammed the trunk shut and got in to the car.  
  
"Seto, how about we get a move on?"  
  
"Huh?" His attention was directed towards the sand once again. Damn sand, damn desert, damn vulture that just had to land on the hood of the car, damn evil glare it gave me. Don't vultures follow things that are about to die? Another one landed right next to my side of the car and another landed next to Seto. I guess they are just bored. Another vulture landed on the roof of the car. This isn't normal, is it?  
  
"Seto, if you haven't noticed we are about to be ambushed by a bunch of vultures."  
  
"Huh?" He said. I would have thought that he had learned his lesson to listen to me when I speak to him but I guess not. I once again moved my mouth next to his ear.  
  
"SETO! LISTEN TO ME!"  
  
"What!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"How about we leave now? We can stop by the desert on the way back or something, okay?"  
  
"Fine." Seto closed the driver's door and started the car. "I'm not going to turn the air conditioning until we are out of here."  
  
"Fine, just go!" He speed off and accidentally hit a vulture that thought it was okay to stand in front of a car. I looked back and all the other vultures began to devour their fallen friend. Seto drove us back to where we were suppose to be, Interstate 5. I looked back every now and then to see exactly what Yami was doing. He was banging his head on the window, muttering stuff to himself and was playing tic-tac-toe in his mind. I wondered if I should ask him what he was doing but as I saw him hit his head in the glass again I decided that I better not.  
  
"How much longer do you think it will take till we get to our next stop?" I asked.  
  
"A few hours if traffic keeps up like this." Seto told me. We were basically stuck in what seemed to be stand still traffic. Let me see. I guess we moved about two millimeters every five minutes- do you consider that stand still traffic or slow moving traffic, emphasis on the word slow? We basically sat there for the next two hours; Seto was bored out of his mind while I had my puzzle book. Muahahahahahahahahaha, I wasn't bored and he was. Yami, on the other hand, kept banging his head on the window. Note to self: take Yami to physiologist.  
  
Finally, the traffic began to move, but I still couldn't find a reason for the slow down. A few minutes later, I found out the stupid reason for the slow down. They had reduced the interstate to one lane because a squirrel that looks almost like the evil squirrel that stalks me, was hit. The people got the paramedics and everything for the damn squirrel, and I bet if I was ran over they would let me rot and die on the side of the road.  
  
"All of this for a damn squirrel! What has this world come to?"  
  
"I feel bad for the poor thing." Seto said.  
  
"What? Did I here you correctly?"  
  
"What if you were that squirrel? Would you like it if they just let you lay there and rot on the side of the road?"  
  
I remained silent, if I answer I'll start this huge debate over nothing but if I stay silent for long he'll start it anyways. decisions, decisions.  
  
"Hey Seto, can you tell Yami to stop banging his head on the window?"  
  
Seto looked back and saw Yami constantly banging his head on the window. "Nah, I rather him stop by himself."  
  
I glared.  
  
"What, he's not bothering me."  
  
I glared some more. "Well, he's bugging me! So," I growled.  
  
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."  
  
"Down boy."  
  
I glared at him once more and then decided to go back to my wonderful little book of puzzles; the more I do the easier they seem to get. Like Seto said, it was a few hours before we got to our next stop.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"So where are we Seto?" I asked.  
  
"Oregon.Salem, Oregon." he replied.  
  
"Any place to eat?" At those words Yami stopped banging his head at stared, the best he could, at Seto for his answer.  
  
"What about over there?"  
  
"Where?" I asked  
  
"There"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"There"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"There! Over at Cracker Barrel."  
  
"Oooohhhhh, there." I said.  
  
"My God. How did you make it so far in life?" I just shrugged. "Anyways, is it okay if we eat over there?"  
  
"Yeah." I said.  
  
"Anywhere!" Yami yelled. Seto drove over to the Cracker Barrel he pointed out earlier and parked in the best spot, the dream spot. As I got out of the car I felt the draft. NO! I thought I fixed that problem!  
  
Flash Back  
  
We were right outside the restaurant's entrance (restaurant where I got the fried frog), when Seto told me to stand still. He asked Yami to stand beside him so he could fix a little problem with my outfit. Seto got some safety pins from who knows where and began to pin the back of my gown shut.  
  
"You're lucky that I had some pins on me" Seto said to me.  
  
"Yeah, I'm also lucky that I have Yami blocking the direct view of my ass from prying eyes. I really think that some old lady behind you is trying to check me out."  
  
"Whatever you say, Bakura."  
  
"Really! I see her out of the corner of my eye." I started to jerk away from Seto, so I could turn around and prove to him I was right. He held me tight in place.  
  
"Whatever Bakura, and STOP moving unless you want a pin stuck in your ass, which, not to mention, will hurt quite a bit."  
  
When he said that, I became as still as the clothes-less statue. As Seto finished my clothing. alterations, I guess you could call it, a little girl walked up to that statue. She stared at it intently, she didn't even blink. What crept me out was the fact that the statue was of a clothes-less guy and a big rock behind him. The little girl kept staring at the statue and then she yelled out to he parents: "Hey Mommy and Daddy, what's that weird looking thing on the guy?"  
  
That was my cue to get out of the area; that was a curious little girl, and unusually curious little girls aren't a good thing.  
  
"Guys, lets get out of here, that little girl is creeping me out."  
  
End Flashback  
  
"Hey Seto, can you open the trunk real fast?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So I can get a change of clothes. If you want, you and Yami can go in and get a table."  
  
"Fine." Seto pressed the button on the side of his car door and the trunk flew open. Yami darted to the trunk, probably to say hello to Cactie, of all plant life out there he just had to go with one that had spikes.  
  
"Come on Yami, you don't need anything out of the trunk." Seto grabbed Yami by the ear and dragged him inside, a priceless sight.  
  
My attention now turned toward the trunk. Damn Yami's cactus! It was lying on top of all my brand new clothes. I stared down at the cactus and whispered, "Damn you, Cactie." Quickly yet carefully I moved Cactie to the side of the trunk using a shirt. Now to grab some real clothes. I picked up the first things I saw and jumped into the car. A lesson to all, never try to change clothes in the passenger's side of the car. I struggled and struggled but I did it, I got the damn clothes on! I'm so cool. As I got out of the car I hit my head on the roof and when I closed the door, I closed it on the bottom of my shirt. So maybe I'm not that cool, but that's beside the point. I yanked my shirt out from in between the car door and frame and casually walked into the restaurant. I walked over to where I say Seto and Yami sitting.  
  
"Does your head hurt, Bakura?" Yami said with a smirk on his face.  
  
"Did you rip your shirt when you yanked it from the car?" Seto asked maliciously. I just stared at both of them. What were they talking about. I'm not stupid enough to do such things.  
  
"I saw you struggling to change your clothes. was it really that hard?" Yami said.  
  
"It looked like you had gone to war with your new clothes" Seto added. I kept staring at them, then it clicked. Were they talking about.? I looked to the left of them and there was a big window and right outside of that window you could see the car. damn.  
  
"Guys, do think I'm dumb enough to do all that stuff? That was my stunt double you saw. not me."  
  
"Bakura, when I say this I say it as a friend, a very honest friend; you truly are stupider than you look." said Seto.  
  
My mouth fell open at his words. "Gee, thank you."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
"So, where are we?" Yami asked.  
  
"Salem, Oregon." Seto said.  
  
"Hey, isn't this the place were they hung all the witches and the place that held the Salem witch trials?"  
  
"Seto, you were right, he is dumber than he looks." Yami said.  
  
"Yeah. Bakura what you are speaking about is the Salem in Massachusetts."  
  
"Oh, well, SORRY."  
  
"You're forgiven." Seto said. I sighed. I sat down opposite of the evil ones. The waitress came by and asked us what we wanted to drink.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"That went well." Seto said.  
  
"Yep." Yami agreed. I sat in the passenger's seat with my head low. The only reason it when so well was because I was the target of insults. Oh well, at least I got rid of that nasty hospital-looking gown and I jacked up Seto's bill at the Cracker Barrel. We were on the road now and not to mention we were in the middle of nowhere. We passed a road sign that intrigued me. It said that in the next couple of exits there was a ghost town. A ghost town? A ghost town in Oregon?  
  
"Hey Yami would you like to go to a ghost town?" Seto asked.  
  
"Sure, it should be something to break away from the usual."  
  
"What has been usual on this trip?" I asked.  
  
"Everything" I rolled my eyes. whatever. If that was usual I hate to see what unusual is.  
  
When the appropriate exit came, Seto took it and off we were to see a ghost town. I wonder if they are going to have people dressed up as cowboys or if it is just going to be an abandoned city out in the middle of nowhere. I guess we'll find out when we arrive. I really don't know why but Yami started to once again bang his head against the window, I bet he is doing it just for fun, but how is banging your head fun? Out of curiosity I started to bang my head against the window. Hey, this is kinda fun. painful but fun all at the same time. When we got there, Seto grabbed me by the back of my shirt and dragged me out through the driver's side of the car.  
  
"Do we have to be here?" I complained.  
  
"Of course we do." he said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, I say so and it might be fun." I rolled my eyes. Fun that is what it is going to be. just a whole lot of fun. I looked down from Seto's face only to see Yami darting past us; he must really want to see a ghost town. Seto dragged me all the way to the entrance of the ghost town. Wow, you have to actually pay here, it is only fifty cents, but it is the concept of it all. Seto paid the measly seventy-five cents and we entered.  
  
The town was decrepit. The roads were made of loose sand and the sidewalks, or what I thought to be sidewalks were made of thin wooden boards. The buildings looked haunted with rotting wooden panels and peeling paint. I walked close by Seto due to the fact that this place kinda scared me.  
  
"Aw. is little Bakura scared of the old ghost town?" Yami said. I turned around and said, "As a matter of fact I am." I can tell by his facial expression that he was shocked.  
  
We continued to walk and take in the sites. As we walked by the barbershop I saw an evil glint in Seto's eyes. He glared at me and then at my hair. I looked at him with that scares puppy look and attempted to run. He grabbed my shirt at looked into my eyes intently.  
  
"Oh Bakura." I swallowed hard in fear of what he was about to say "Your hair looks as if it could use a nice trimming."  
  
"I like it this length." I said.  
  
"No you don't." I looked at him with fear. "And you know what?"  
  
"What?" I asked regretfully.  
  
"I'm gonna be nice a take you to that barber shop to get your hair cut."  
  
I looked to my right at left to make sure everything was clear. When Seto let me go I ran as fast as I could, to bad I never really a good runner. I looked back and saw Seto and Yami looking strangely at me. What Seto did next came as a surprise to me. He stopped staring at me and started to chase me. WHY ME!? What did I ever go to him to deserve this?  
  
Within a matter of seconds he caught me and walked me over to the barbershop. I resisted going in as much as I could but failed. When Seto, Yami and I got in I could not believe who I say getting a haircut. In the barber's chair sat one of Pegasus's Duelist Kingdom people, Kimo. He was sitting on the chair panicking due to the fact that the barber seemed to be insane. Kimo, with his usual pointy hairstyle, could be heard complaining.  
  
"I'm going to cut ALL your hair off! Muahahahahaha!" the barber said.  
  
"NO! I just want the sides trimmed."  
  
"To bad, sonny." He turned on the razor. "You're gonna be as bald as my great granpapy was, hehehehehehehehehehehe." This barber really was insane. He raised the vibrating razor up high and swung it swiftly passed his hair. Oh dear, he just cut the point of Kimo's hair off.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Muahahahahahahahahahaha!" the barber laughed.  
  
Within the next few seconds, and I mean seconds, Kimo's head looked like a shiny flesh colored bowling ball. When he saw his reflection he ran out of the shop, crying. The barber glared at me and said:  
  
"You next sonny, hehehehehehe."  
  
I looked strait into his creepy eyes and ran out of the place, Seto and Yami decided to run right behind me. I ran and ran until my legs could not go any more. We saw a little bar and decided to go in and sit for a while. Yami and Seto sat at the counter and I sat at a tiny table next to a stage with mechanical dancing women. At least I didn't have to get my hair cut, or should I say shaved off. Yami started to order some western liquor, since when does he drink? Seto did they same and was even "kind" enough to order me a drink. When the old bartender (who or what here isn't old?) served me my drink, I debated over what to do with it. To drink or not to drink that tis the question. I looked at Yami and Seto, they seemed to be enjoying it (they wear already on their 3rd glass), so I picked up my glass and took a small sip.  
  
11 drinks later.....  
  
"I'm Superman!" I yelled.  
  
"How can you be when I am!?" Seto yelled.  
  
"Both y'alls are lying cuz I am Superman!" Yami yelled while swinging his glass of liquor. I can believe I drank 11 glasses of whatever the hell that stuff was. Hmmmmm, I wonder what I would look like in that mechanical girl's dress. I ran up and took the clothes off the machine girl. I put it on sloppily and glomped Seto.  
  
"Look at me look at me! I'm a woman dancer thing. Aren't I cute?" I started to dance to the Can Can. Seto and Yami looked at me in awe, maybe because I could kick so high or maybe it was because I was the best damn looking dancer on that stage. I danced and danced to the damn Can Can; speaking of which, this dress makes my can look big. After a while the drunken Seto and Yami had to pull me off the stage, before I started to sing my lungs out.  
  
As they dragged me off the stage and passed the counter I grabbed a tall glass of whatever the hell I was drinking. Since the two drunks where busy dragging me they failed to notice my actions. When it came to getting through the door the two of them ran into the doorframe while I sat on the ground drinking my drink. Upon finishing it I fell to the ground unconscious.  
  
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As I woke up I noticed I was in a moving vehicle with two figures whom I did not recognize. "Where am I and who might these people be?" The two figures looked at me with confusion.  
  
"Don't worry, Yami." Said the one with the brown hair. "I know just the thing to get him back to his regular self."  
  
The brown haired boy pulled onto a driveway and perpendicular parked the car. I was dragged out of the car and pulled into a small but cozy looking shop. The walls were decorated with pictures of coffee beans and coffee cops with abstract forms of steam being emitted. The spiky-haired one sat me down in a comfy armchair while the brown-haired one went to order something; that would be my guess at least. While sitting I looked around and to my left I saw a sigh that had the letters; StarBucks Coffee. I sounded out the word and then it clicked..StarBuck's Coffee! I looked over to the brown-haired boy. That's Seto! I looked to my right. You're Yami! And this is. HEAVEN, or wait, it's STARBUCK'S!  
  
Yami looked at me as if I was insane. I looked back at him and stuck my tongue out then I looked down. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Why am I wearing a dress, a very tacky one at that? If I'm gonna wear a dress I should at least wear a tasteful one.  
  
"Yami, why am I wearing a dress?" He shrugged at me. "That doesn't really help answer my question now, does it?"  
  
"I guess not."  
  
"So how about you give me a real answer?"  
  
"Okay, here's my answer. You were drunk, I was drunk, and Seto was drunk. Does that help you at all?"  
  
My eyes widened then as my mind processed the information Yami had just given me. The light bulb in my head when off and I responded to Yami, "Yes, it does." He looked at me strangely again and so I yet again responded in sticking my tongue out at him. The glare I received was almost as bad as a glare from Seto. I went back to looking around the cozy little building until I saw Seto walking toward the little sitting area where Yami and I were. In his hands he held a tray with three venti (large) drinks. When he got to us he passed them out and I looked at it inquisitively. It was a frozen drink, I could tell due to the fact that it was cold to the touch, with whip cream, chocolate and toasted coconut shavings. It looked delectable but I could help but wonder what it was.  
  
"Hey Seto, what is this?" He looked at me, then the drink.  
  
"It called a Mocha Coconut Frappuccino."  
  
I took a sip of the cold, slushy drink. The flavor that remained in my mouth was intoxicating. I grabbed the venti cup, shoved the straw in my mouth and drank it in record time. Yami and Seto stared at me as I fell to the floor, body convulsing and mind freezing with a temperature below absolute zero.  
  
"Good. so. very. good." I said while shivering on the floor. An employee walked from around the counter and stood above my head. She looked over toward Yami and Seto and asked if I was okay. They both looked at me and Seto, as "kind" as he is told the employee, "Ma'am, for him this is what we call normal." She looked at him for a while trying to fully comprehend the words spoken to her. With realization she smiled at Seto and when back to her appointed position. So it was her that puts the delectable whip cream on the decadent drink.  
  
What seemed to be an hour to me was about fifteen minutes in reality. Yami and Seto decided to finish their drink slowly, to prevent a major brain freeze (unlike me). They walked over to the trashcan and stood. Seto threw the plastic cup away and started out the door, I followed him. Yami, on the other hand, stood beside the trashcan contemplating whether or not to throw away his cup. If my ears heard correct he was standing there, saying things like, "I bet Cactie would love to take a sip of this," or, "does Cactie really need coffee?"  
  
I walked to the car and got in. Soon after Seto asked me why Yami wasn't here in the car. I had no clue how to answer his simple question. I couldn't just say he is contemplating whether or not he should give a cactus coffee; I had to come up with something believable. Without warning the I gave an answer to his question.  
  
"He's not here because he is in the uh. bathroom. that's it. He's is in the bathroom, Seto." He looked at me as if I was lying, I feel insulted. wait, never mind. I was lying.  
  
"Oh, okay then."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay," said Yami. We both looked at the backseat and saw Yami placidly sitting there. Seto turned around without a word and started the car. He got out of the parking space and peeled away. Was he ticked off or something? I personally think he is acting like it. He speed on the feeder road and speed a hell of a lot more on the entrance ramp to the interstate.  
  
"So Seto, where are you taking us?"  
  
"I don't know Ryou, or should I say, Map Master." I forgot about my map master duties. I scrounged around the passenger's side of the car in search of a map. Noooooo, I can't find it!  
  
"Seto! Pull over!"  
  
"No!" He said flatly.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!" I leaned over, grabbed the steering wheel and jerked the car to the right. Just as I had expected Seto slammed on the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt. When the car stopped I jumped out and ran to the trunk. After pounding on it several times Seto decided to open the damn thing. As it opened, my hands rummaged through the mess in search of a map.  
  
"OUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DAAAAMMMMNNNNIIIITTTT!" My hand had just slammed itself into Yami's lover, Cactie. Despite the terrible (emphasis on terrible) pain my hand continued its search for a map. With my "wonderful" luck I found a map and ran back to the car.  
  
"The Map Master is back!" I yelled.  
  
"Great." Seto said sarcastically, "Now you can tell me were to go." At those words I bit my tongue in a desperate attempt to suppress the pain in my hand. Damn Cactie! Just had to have spiky things on it. I unfolded the map and began to look. Hmmmmm. we're here so I guess we need to go. straight.  
  
"Seto, go straight!" I lowered my tone of voice and added, "the Map Master has spoken."  
  
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2 LONG hours later...  
  
"Hey guys" Seto said, "What is that up ahead?"  
  
"It looks like another state border," Yami said.  
  
"It looks like a security check of you ask me," I said.  
  
"I can only wonder," said Seto.  
  
And so they approached.....  
  
A/N: I'm still so VERY VERY VERY VERY sorry for the late update. *cries* I'm trying so hard (doesn't look like it I know but I am) Anyways, I hope ya'll enjoyed. ((The BETA is also very sorry, cause it's partially her fault too.)) Ch. 6 is on the way. 


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